Condom jokes
Break a wine glass: I give you bad luck for a year.
Break a mirror: Funny wine glass, I give you bad luck for 7 years.
Breaking a condom: Haha so funny mirror.
Seat belts are like the condom for cars.
What do you call a fat bitch that eats cum from used condoms? Your mom!
What's worse than funny condom fails?
Jake Paul.
Hogwarts is making a new condom. It's called "fetus deletus."
What did the condom say when he came out of a gay guy's asshole?
He said, "Fuck this shit!"
Why did the murderer invest in condoms? To kill the future buyers!
What’s the difference between women and condoms?
There isn’t a difference; they’re both throw aways.
Tyler: What's your favorite fruit?
Frankie: Pineapple duh, what's yours?
Tyler: Pineapple
Frankie: Wanna come over and watch some Netflix? I'm home alone.
Tyler: Absolutely!! What time should I be there?
Frankie: Right now.
Tyler: Sweet! Should I bring a condom?
Frankie: Now enough talk, let's fuck.
Tyler: I thought you never asked.
What’s the difference between a tire and three-hundred-sixty-five used condoms?
One’s a good year; the other’s a great year!
My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media - it was a picture of me.
So, two condoms walk by a gay bar. What does one condom say to the other? "Hey, wanna get 'shit-faced?'"
A man looks at his friend and says, "If you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk, and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone?" The friend says in a disgusted tone, "No." So the man says, "Okay, let's go camping."
Condoms are for pussies.
What did the penis say to the condom?
"Cover me, I'm going in!"
What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.
I don't like condoms, but I like gay pregnant X.
Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay guys can play Star Wars.
"Son, I found a condom in your room."
"Gee, thanks, Grandpa!"
"Why are you calling me Grandpa?"
"Because I couldn't find it yesterday."