Condom

Condom Jokes

Gay

What did the condom say when he came out of a gay guy's asshole?

He said, "Fuck this shit!"

  • 1
  • Buyer

    Why did the murderer invest in condoms? To kill the future buyers!

    Woman

    What’s the difference between women and condoms?

    There isn’t a difference; they’re both throw aways.

  • 4
  • Pineapple

    Tyler: What's your favorite fruit?

    Frankie: Pineapple duh, what's yours?

    Tyler: Pineapple

    Frankie: Wanna come over and watch some Netflix? I'm home alone.

    Tyler: Absolutely!! What time should I be there?

    Frankie: Right now.

    Tyler: Sweet! Should I bring a condom?

    Frankie: Now enough talk, let's fuck.

    Tyler: I thought you never asked.

    Tire

    What’s the difference between a tire and three-hundred-sixty-five used condoms?

    One’s a good year; the other’s a great year!

    Dad

    My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media - it was a picture of me.

    Bar

    So, two condoms walk by a gay bar. What does one condom say to the other? "Hey, wanna get 'shit-faced?'"

  • 2
  • Man

    A man looks at his friend and says, "If you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk, and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone?" The friend says in a disgusted tone, "No." So the man says, "Okay, let's go camping."

  • 2
  • Part

    What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.

    Gay Guy

    Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay guys can play Star Wars.

    Son

    "Son, I found a condom in your room."

    "Gee, thanks, Grandpa!"

    "Why are you calling me Grandpa?"

    "Because I couldn't find it yesterday."

  • 2