Did you hear the scores of the African basketball game?
It was Eight-Nothing.
How did the USA beat Japan in rapping?
By dropping two of the biggest roasts.
Why did the cheetah get disqualified?
Because he was a cheetah, duh!
Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."
Why do rapists and pedophiles never win a race?
Because they always like to come in a little behind.
I was playing chess with my friend and he said, "Let’s make this interesting."
So we stopped playing chess.
A hot dog and a banana had a race. Who won?
The wiener.
Why is America so bad at chess?
Because they already lost two towers.
Me and my little brother were playing Call Of Duty. He wasn't doing very good, so I told him so. My brother said to me, "At least I don't have to camp in order to get kills." I then responded with, "I would call you cancer, but at least cancer kills."
Why is the USA so bad at chess?
Because they already lost two towers.
Official Dj Penaldo playlist.
1. "I'm a fraud" 2. "I need you (ft. Tap-ins)" 3. "I Want to Leave Mid United" 4. "Back where I belong (ft. Europa league)" 5. "TY Eder" 6. "Nobody wants me (Rejectnaldo Remix)" 7. "Fuck that kid (ft. Lil Broke phone)" 8. "Sewy (Benched +arms crossed version)"
Q: Why aren't there any Walmarts in Afghanistan?
A: Because there's a Target on every corner.
So the coach got mad at me because I'm the only one on my team who is only a bit on the spectrum, and I was just keeping the ball to myself. The coach pulled me aside and said, "Pass to others." I said, "Why?" And he said, "There's no 'I' in 'team.'" I said, "Yeah, but there's an 'm' and an 'e.'"
So, I heard Bounty, the maker of paper towels, has decided to get into the Male Enhancement business...
...their new slogan?
The Quicker Pecker Upper.
He turns, he shoots!
And that is a horrible end to the Grand National...
A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.
Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."
Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."
Yo mama so ugly, when she tried to enter an ugly contest, they said they didn't allow professionals.
Waitress: You wanna box for your leftovers?
Me: No, but I'll arm wrestle you for the check.
The cheetah had a race with a lion, and the cheetah won.
The lion was like, "Why you always a cheetah?"
The cheetah was like, "Why you always lion (lying)?"
Rock, paper, lesbians.
