Competition Jokes

why can’t pedophiles ever win races? Because they are always coming in a little behind.

Rock paper lesbians.

What games would deaf people not be good at...

Simon says and Musical chairs

"Most Deadly Sport" Playing chicken with a Train!

Russia and Ukraine are running a marathon. Who do you think won? Russia did. Russia gave Ukraine a migraine.

Why can’t orphans go on game shows

You need a family member

Today I feel diving. Today I feel penalty. Today I feel tap in. Today I feel ghosting. Today I feel finished. Today I feel a bench warmer... I know what it feels to be discriminated... I was bullied because I am Pristiano Penaldo

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What did the two paintings say after a long battle? Lets call this one a draw

What do tomatoes 🍅 learn to do in a race?

Ketchup!

Bend over and spell run

Why did the tiger loose at poker? Answer: Because he was playing with a cheetah.

When a cookie 🍪 wins a race, what will the crowd say?

“Chip Chip Hooray”

Waitress: You wanna box for your leftovers? Me: No, but i`ll arm wrestle you for the check.

What game do emo kids love the most Hang man

A guy and girl had sex poem competition. Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine." Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."

North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first. Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first." The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die." Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."

The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it. The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.

The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:

"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!" (Found on the web if you don't like it don't leave a hate comment)

So there's Fred and Frank, now they've been 2 friends for years, but Fred see he's depressed. Badly. Either way, so F+F are texting each other and here's how is goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge to harshly)

Frank: Yo Fred: hi... Frank: u heard about de competition? Fred: yeah.... Frank: You wanna hang out? Fred: ....... Frank: what? I've got some noose (news) for you Fred: ... I( Frank: fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan tho. We don't wanna be hanging on the end. Fred: *sigh* you know....you really can't rope me into this competition.