Competition jokes
Why are Americans so good at shooting?
We have the best schools for it.
Mr. Smith: Neona, tell us what you have for the biggest competition that we can do to keep our competitors out of the winning streak?
Neona: Will thought we used more sales and more advertising.
Mr. Smith: It's already a good idea. Now what about the business plan? We need it as recommendations to keep the business going. Tell me, what do you have in mind?
Neona: It is better to always have a plan. I was thinking that we can get higher prices and always get great deals. The people will go nuts for a great deal!
Mr. Smith: Perfect. Now let's take a 5 minute break.
Mr. Smith: Ok, 5 minutes is up! Now Neona, I know you are an intern, but what are the best things we can do for the company?
Neona: Hmm...let's see...will we can start with all the things people love! If this is going to work then we have have to......
It's about bottling.
It's about crying.
I stay finished, I fake retire.
Put in the diving.
Put in the ghosting
And take my fake trophies.
Eibar and Bolivia in my veins.
My Barcelona banged by Bayern.
I bottle the game, so what's my farmer's name? (Pessi)
A French, a German, and an Italian make a race to see who resists the most in a room full of flies. The French starts, and after a quarter of an hour, comes out.
Then goes the German, who comes out after an hour. Finally, the Italian enters and comes out after five hours.
The French: "But how did you do it?"
The Italian: "I killed one."
The German: "So what?"
The Italian: "And then they were all busy for the funeral!"
Family are together playing charades.
Me: "50 Shades of Grey!" Yes, I'm so good at charades! Put your shirt back on, Nan!
Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.
Which two football teams played in the pirate Superbowl?
The Seahawks and the Buccaneers.
How did you get into the tampon 100?
Pull some strings!
Why do humans hate aliens?
Because Fortnite took them out of the game, and I want aliens back in Fortnite!
Q: What did the Jewish person say when he beat me in a race?
A: Eat my dust.
What is better than winning gold at the Para Olympics?
WALKING!
If you play FNF, I play a game because he has two balls, boi.
What is the epitome of being quick on the draw?
Coming both first and last in the same round of "soggy biscuit".
I feel bad for all American Clash Royale players.
They always start with two towers downed.
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?
They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
Your hairline is so curvy now, Ice Spice has competition!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Pete the panther was racing a cheetah but lost. The cheetah said, "You can’t beat me, I’m a cheetah." Pete said, "Yeah, you are a cheetah cheetah."
VOTING FINAL This vote is for the best School Shooter joke of the month.
LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
DISLIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
Vote for the better joke and the Joke of the Month will be announced in the comments tomorrow.
Why can’t Americans play chess?
They lost 2 towers.