Competition jokes
What did Hitler and Usain Bolt have in common?
They both finished the races.
Chuck Norris wins a staring contest. -- Against Medusa.
Chuck Norris and Superman had a bet. The loser had to wear their underwear on their pants.
This chess game against America and England is getting interesting. First, America lost both of its towers, but now England has lost its queen.
My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are... But I laugh more.
And the lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
Why does Mexico never hold the Olympics? Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim is already out of the country.
What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one.
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
Because that’s the only love they get.
I lost at Kahoot, so I had to ka-shoot.
Welcome back to the hide and seek world championship! Osama Bin Laden vs. Anne Frank!
What is a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross-country!!!
Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? Because she always ran away from the ball.
Pedophiles don't win races because they like to come in a little behind.
A retard won a break-dancing competition. All he did was go to get a drink.
Why can't an orphan play Family Feud? Because it has to have a family.
What happens when an emo kid loses a Kahoot? He gets a 25 kill streak.
Why doesn’t the US want to play chess with the UK?
The US is already down 2 towers, and the UK has an unkillable queen.
A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.
So in a triathlon, it would all come down to whoever can ride a bike the fastest.
I once fought with a man in a wheelchair.
He couldn't stand a chance.