Comparison jokes

What’s the difference between Jesus and the toddler in my basement?

Jesus died a virgin.

Life is like a box of chocolates, they f*cking melt :)

What's the difference between Vikkstar and a tree?

Nothing. They're both hollow on the inside and brown on the outside.

What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.

Omg wassup dude, why does your hair look just like a young Whoopi Goldberg from "The Color Purple?" Them damn stanky looking corn bread rows on your head; you look like a damn cheetah pet. Che che che cheetah, they available at Wal-Mart, Dollar Tree, Target, and Kroger.

What is the difference between a tree and walking home from a wheelchair?

What’s the difference between a mushroom and a tree?

One's a fucking tree.

What's the difference between a cheater and your mom?

They both cheated!

What are the similarities between an American teen and an old Muslim man?

They both choose who they want.

Roses are red,

My nuts are bigger than your small balls, that's why I get all the bitches.

You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like one!

What's the difference between limbs of babies and a dick?

I've never sucked on dicks.

Okay, boys are known to measure their dicks, but do girls measure their depths?

What's the difference between a retard and a normal person?

A normal person is not named Josh Wakling.

Yo mama is so fat that she's bigger than the cinematic Marvel Universe.

What is the difference between Jesus and the devil?

When the devil came to Earth, he was the one with the nail gun.

Your butt looks so big, it's bigger than Sam Hill.

Your mom's like a candy machine; she pops out for anybody.

What’s the difference between Anne Frank and Harry Potter?

Only one came out of the chamber.

90,900,00,1090,279402% of girls are raped. 67% of women are raped. So I guess girls are sexier than women! Who agrees? Please comment: Good or Bad.