Comparison jokes
If your hairline was a river, it would meander left, right, and backwards.
Your hairline is so bad it was used as the Starbucks logo!
Bro, your hairline and an athletics track have one thing in common: they look like Humpty Dumpty.
Your hairline is so far back my grandpa saw it before you!
I've seen more charisma in a wet mop than in BLESSEDBRIAN'S personality.
I’ve seen more life in a trampled garden gnome than in BLESSEDBRIAN’S jokes.
Leo might not be the dumbest person in the world... but she’d better hope they don’t DIE!
"One man's trash is another man's treasure."
It's a wonderful phrase, but a terrible way to find out you're adopted.
Someone I know is an ant. I feel like a mountain to them.
There is a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking; at least one of them does something.
Wanna know what's worse than 5 babies in one dumpster?
1 baby in 5 dumpsters.....
"This dude right here don't look nothing like no damn Tyrese Gibson. He look like a hot, fishy tail termite all dressed in green makeup."
I’ve seen doorknobs more interesting than LEO.
My sister looks like Santa Claus.
"You are so pretty?"
"No, too many people!"
They say people can have a sharp mind. Yours is like a dull knitting needle.
Water bottles, strong, Standing tall, like sturdy men, Quenching every thirst.
Clear and transparent, Reflecting strength and resolve, Resilient and pure.
In hand, they offer Refreshing relief, like hugs, Soothing every soul.
Water bottles, like men, Nourish and hydrate our lives, Simple yet vital.
What’s the difference between Jesus and the toddler in my basement?
Jesus died a virgin.
Life is like a box of chocolates, they f*cking melt :)
Omg wassup dude, why does your hair look just like a young Whoopi Goldberg from "The Color Purple?" Them damn stanky looking corn bread rows on your head; you look like a damn cheetah pet. Che che che cheetah, they available at Wal-Mart, Dollar Tree, Target, and Kroger.
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.