Comparison jokes

What's the difference between my imaginary friend and God?

None.

They're both imaginary.

You know a baby bottle looks kinda like a penis... Also sausage and hotdogs too.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby?

Both of their legs don't work.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and Rocket League? You can't stand up.

Q. What's the difference between Trump and a piece of shit? A. Shit isn't orange.

What’s the difference between a teenage girl and a cat? One’s a psycho and the other is a cat.

You look as fat as a pig.

What does Adam look like?

The fat ginger baby of Boss Baby.

What’s the difference between anal sex and vegetables? One is cruel to the person getting it in, the other is vegetables.

Q. What's the difference between Donald Trump and orange Jello?

A. The Jello has a higher IQ.

You're shorter than a thumbtack, like, boy, your auntie is probably taller than you.

Yo, your hairline so messed up God said your hairline on the cross getting hit on that cross.

That is so bad, just like you.

"Rapeboat" makes Elton John seem straight.

What's the difference between a rapist's mouth and a sewer?

Nothing, they both spout shit.

Mariah Carey is a more legit rapper than rapboat.

Roses are red, Violets are ugly.

Violet thought she was ugly until she saw you!

Yo mama so fat, she doesn't count as 1 person bro, she counts as 40 people.

Yo hairline is so bad it looks like a fat person's stomach.

Wife: "Honey? What do you think about my teeth?"

Husband: "They remind me of stars... yellow and far apart."