Comparison jokes
Your hairline is so bad, it's not even McDonald's, it's Dixy Chicken!
Roses are red, violets are blue, you are so ugly that no one likes you.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?
You can’t abuse an alligator.
You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?
Both end up getting cut.
What does a pickle look like a p*nis?
Your skin's so bright you could be used as a highlighter.
A Texan and an Alaskan walk into a room, and the Alaskan says, "My state is bigger." Then the Texan says, "It won't be when it melts."
What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both got taken out by two jets.
Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister and feel better.
Jesus and Satan are just basically Homer and Flanders. One tries to help the other, only for Satan to just say, "Shut up!"
What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato? About 140 calories.
People are like trees...
If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they'll fall over.
Ku cina Na xidludla swifana no push refrigerator. 😂😂
An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."
Holy shit there's so many yo mama jokes. Here's mine: Yo mama so skinny she used a cheerio as a hula hoop.
Yo mama so fat that she made a plane unstable and crashed it into the Twin Towers.
Yo mama so old that she has Jesus's autograph.
Yo mama so ugly that not even makeup can save her.
Yo mama so dumb that she thought Rocket League was a competition between kids in wheelchairs.
Two cunts are better than one, but one cunt is better than none.
Roses are red, violets are blue, that joke is old, just like you.
What does Madeleine McCann and my old Xbox have in common?
They both died with red rings.
What is red and looks like a zebra?
My arm. Hehhehehehe UwU
Yo mama so fat she makes the sun look like a dwarf star!