Comparison jokes

Your head so big you can wash a big TV on it!

Ku cina Na xidludla swifana no push refrigerator. 😂😂

Sean's hairline recedes faster than my grades.

What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?

One is gigantic, the other is just a little lighter.

Okay, roses are red, violets are blue, Barney looks better than you.

I learned that humans eat more bananas than monkeys...

Huh, I don’t recall ever eating a monkey!

My diet:

Make all of my friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look...

Roses are red, violets are blue, that joke is old, just like you.

What’s weaker than a daffodil? Mundy’s ankles.

Egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin' ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, motherfucker look like a damn balloon.

Call me Kobe 'cause I'm finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo' parents. Mr. Clean, bootleg Saitama lookin' ass mfer. No hair? :(

What’s the difference between a pig and Maddie McCann?

Least a pig had an apple in its mouth when it was spit roasted.

You're so skinny that a Wi-Fi signal is stronger.

What’s the difference between erotic and kinky?

Erotic is usually a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.

When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant:

Did you get seafood without me? It smells like fish.

I would call Slade dense, but that would be an insult to rocks.

I've seen more depth in a kiddie pool than in BLESSEDBRIAN’s jokes.

I’d say Leo is as sharp as a marble, but that would be an insult to marbles.

What's the difference between BTS and Futurama? There's only one Bender in Futurama.

What’s the difference between God and Hitler?

God made thousands of bread, Hitler made thousands of toast.

What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?

"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."