Comparison jokes
Alright, I'm gonna drink the lo-carb one to see how it compares to the normal Monster.
Holy shit, it tastes just like the original one.
There's like a weird after taste though.
Kinda like a sparkling water one.
I love Monster. I've drank about 5 cans already.
It looks like a runner bean, only smaller.
From the makers of Mangeone...
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
God made me pretty, what happened to you?
Sean's hairline recedes faster than my grades.
What’s the difference between 1000 used tires and 1000 used condoms?
One's a good year and one's a great year.
Memes
2020 lol
Your head so big you can wash a big TV on it!
What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
One is gigantic, the other is just a little lighter.
Okay, roses are red, violets are blue, Barney looks better than you.
I learned that humans eat more bananas than monkeys...
Huh, I don’t recall ever eating a monkey!
My diet:
Make all of my friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look...
Roses are red, violets are blue, that joke is old, just like you.
What’s the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic is usually a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.
What’s the difference between God and Hitler?
God made thousands of bread, Hitler made thousands of toast.
When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant:
Did you get seafood without me? It smells like fish.
Americans leave without saying goodbye.
Russians say goodbye without leaving.
She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.
I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.
Q: What do nuns and bathrooms have in common?
A: They both have glory holes for pleasing.
Q. What do Canadian women and Canadian beer have in common? A. They're both stronger than they look.
Your hairline parts faster than Moses parting the Red Sea.
What's the difference between Christian theocrats and Islamic fundamentalists?
Presentation.