Comparison jokes
Your forehead is so big, I thought it was a brick wall.
Roses are red, violets are blue, but at least a dumptruck isn't as ugly as you.
What's the difference between school and Hell?
There is no difference.
The only difference between my grandma and the twin towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.
Okay, roses are red, violets are blue, Barney looks better than you.
What’s weaker than a daffodil? Mundy’s ankles.
Roses are red, violets are blue, that joke is old, just like you.
"Trust falling" with a bridge is more trustworthy than me.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thank God I'm not as ugly as you.
I got jealous when my phone died.
What makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar?
They can't stand up for themselves.
I got the new phone with longer lasting battery, but it still lasts longer than your relationships, ooooooooooo!
What's the difference between Adolf Hitler and Usain Bolt?
Usain Bolt finished the races.
You have a head of a Malteser and a hairline VEGTA.
Ex-bf's gf: You're so ugly as hell.
Me: Oh, did I mention that I was trying to be you?
Your balls are so big, when people see you at the market, they think it's watermelon.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Shrek thought he was ugly until he saw you.
If Sakura's head looks like earth, then her hairline has to look like the Milky Way.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a flower?
One is beautiful.
Vaginas are like onions. They have lots of layers to get through.