Comparison jokes

What’s the difference between a pig and Maddie McCann?

Least a pig had an apple in its mouth when it was spit roasted.

Your hairline is like a lollipop because every time someone licks it, it gets shorter.

Egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin' ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, motherfucker look like a damn balloon.

Call me Kobe 'cause I'm finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo' parents. Mr. Clean, bootleg Saitama lookin' ass mfer. No hair? :(

"Trust falling" with a bridge is more trustworthy than me.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thank God I'm not as ugly as you.

I got jealous when my phone died.

If Sakura's head looks like earth, then her hairline has to look like the Milky Way.

Roses are red, violets are blue, but at least a dumptruck isn't as ugly as you.

The only difference between my grandma and the twin towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.

Yo momma's armpits are so hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.

My mom went to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.

Your mama's so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "To be continued."

What's the difference between Adolf Hitler and Usain Bolt?

Usain Bolt finished the races.

Your balls are so big, when people see you at the market, they think it's watermelon.

Your forehead is so big, I thought it was a brick wall.

You have a head of a Malteser and a hairline VEGTA.

What's the difference between school and Hell?

There is no difference.

Vaginas are like onions. They have lots of layers to get through.

What makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar?

They can't stand up for themselves.

I got the new phone with longer lasting battery, but it still lasts longer than your relationships, ooooooooooo!