Comparison jokes

Your forehead is so big and shiny it looks like a solar field.

My friends and I were talking about this really ugly girl at our school. For some reason, she had the same name as me.

Who are the fastest readers in the world? The 9/11 terrorists went through like 78 stories in 7 seconds.

What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?

There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.

Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.

Sometimes I feel ugly, then I think of my sister and get over it.

What's the difference between humans and trash cans? One's actually useful.

What do girls and noodles have in common?

They both wiggle when you eat them.

My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She's got my sister's eyes.

Yo forehead so big, NASA thought it was Mars.

What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.

Your forehead's so big, it makes Kanye's ego small.

Yo hairline be lookin' like Elmo's toe fungus.

Not totally a joke but... What do all these rape joke naysayers have in common with rapists? They are also forcing themselves on others.

What is the difference between a whore and an onion?

You don't cry when you chop a whore.

Q: What is Trump?

A: An oversized oompa loompa.

Nice! Angry Birds really has improved.

Relationships are like fat people.

Most of them don’t work out.

Americans be like: "Here is the US, we drive on the right side of the road."

England be like: "Here in the UK, we drive on the left side of the road."

Russians after a car accident be like: "Here in Russia, road is road."

Some girl just walks into my 6th period geography class. The first thing I think is, "Oh shit! It's mini Regina George without titties!"