Comparison jokes
Your forehead is so big and shiny it looks like a solar field.
My friends and I were talking about this really ugly girl at our school. For some reason, she had the same name as me.
What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?
There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.
Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.
What's the difference between humans and trash cans? One's actually useful.
Sometimes I feel ugly, then I think of my sister and get over it.
Who are the fastest readers in the world? The 9/11 terrorists went through like 78 stories in 7 seconds.
What do girls and noodles have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them.
My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She's got my sister's eyes.
Not totally a joke but... What do all these rape joke naysayers have in common with rapists? They are also forcing themselves on others.
Yo forehead so big, NASA thought it was Mars.
What's the difference between a Nazi and an onion? If you cut a Nazi, nobody is crying.
What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.
Yo hairline be lookin' like Elmo's toe fungus.
Your forehead's so big, it makes Kanye's ego small.
What is the difference between a whore and an onion?
You don't cry when you chop a whore.
Q: What is Trump?
A: An oversized oompa loompa.
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack.
I always hit on 16, then get busted.
Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza? Pizza won't cut itself.