Comparison jokes
What's the difference between a Demon and a Redhead?
The Demon at least has a trade offer.
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.
Your face is crustier than the Sahara Desert.
Ex-bf's gf: You're so ugly as hell.
Me: Oh, did I mention that I was trying to be you?
How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.
I like my girls like I like my wine.
12 years old and locked in my basement.
Why are emos jealous of light?
The lights are hanging.
Why is Hitler better than Biden?
Because Hitler gave his people gas for free.
When someone saw your hairline, they thought it was a Dorito logo.
What do emos and unsalted popcorn have in common?
They're both white and flavorless.
"Do you know the difference between wallpaper and toilet paper?" Replies, "No." "Gross!"
You're so ugly, even Smara gets jealous.
I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"
What's the difference in Japanese Kamikaze and 9/11?
There is none, they both go up in flames.
Your forehead is so big, I thought you were Megamind for a second there.
What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend?
One bails her hay, and the other heils her bae.
Sometimes I feel ugly, then I think of my sister and get over it.
I realized that a really bad joke and my life are the exact same thing.
What's the difference between Madlen Makan and Stephen Hawking?
Nothing, they're both dead.
What was the ONLY difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples got picked.