Comparison jokes

What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?

Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.

Bro, your hairline and an athletics track have one thing in common: they look like Humpty Dumpty.

Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they don't shoot up schools.

What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.

What's the difference between you and an egg?

An egg gets laid.

Q: What is Trump?

A: An oversized oompa loompa.

How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.

The USA has school shootings. We Canadians have bus beheadings.

What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common? They never get old.

My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She's got my sister's eyes.

What's the difference between a woman and a freezer?

A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

I still remember the third of December, me in your sweater. You said it looked better on me than it did you. Only if you knew how much I liked you. But I watch your eyes as she walks by. What a sight for sore eyes, Brighter than the blue sky. She's got you mesmerized while I die. Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester, But you like her better. Wish I were Heather. Watch as she stands with her, holding your hand. Put your arm 'round her shoulder, now I'm getting colder. But how could I hate her, she's such an angel. But then again, kinda wish she were dead as she walks by. What a sight for sore eyes. Brighter than the blue sky. She's got you mesmerized while I die. Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester, But you like her better. I wish I were Heather. Oh, I wish I were Heather. Oh, oh, wish I were Heather. Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester, But you like her better. Wish I were-

You're so ugly, when a pig saw you, it thought that you were their family member.

Carrie Underwood and ChatGPT are not the same. ChatGPT is able to create a soul.

Your hairline is so far back, it makes the Giant from Clash of Clans jealous!

What's the difference between you and a Barbie? There is no difference. Both of your faces are fake.

What's the difference between an asshole and a freezer?

The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

What's the difference between you and eggs? Eggs get laid.

What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.

Life is like a box of chocolates... It ends sooner for fat people.