Comparison jokes
What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?
They both like lil' boys.
I like my women how I like my coffee... HOT.
Your hairline is so far back it makes me look like Shaq O'Neal.
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson likes little boys.
What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.
Yo momma's armpits are so hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.
What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?
They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.
How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.
What do women and pools have in common?
They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you’re inside of them.
I like my women like I like my diving pools.
Wet and deep.
What's the difference between an apple and emos?
They both hang on trees.
I was gobsmacked when I encountered the Jacko special at a Bunnings sausage sizzle. A 40-year-old sausage on 7-year-old white bread.
What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies? I don’t put fruit in a blender.
Yo mama so fat, when she ordered a water bed they gave her the Pacific Ocean.
Bro, your toenails are bigger than your IQ.
What's the difference between a pig and a police officer?
The pig smells better.
If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.
What’s the difference between me and Glow In The Dark Intelligent Putty? The putty’s intelligent!
Yo ass built like a wide body Hellcat!
Q: What do Burger King and Michael Jackson have in common?
A: They put meat on five-year-old buns.