Comparison jokes
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well, beer nuts are 49 cents, but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer, you won’t understand it.)
Yo hairline be lookin' like Elmo's toe fungus.
What is the difference between a rock and my girlfriend?
One is rock hard, and the other is Dwayne Johnson.
what's the difference between an emo and an apple? the apple falls to the ground while the emo just hangs there.
What is a difference between a tree and a car? A car 🚙 can drive and [a] tree 🌲 can not drive.
Why is leather armor better for sneaking than steel armor?
Leather armor is made of hide.
What's the difference between you and eggs? Eggs get laid.
I like my women how I like my wine.
14 years aged and locked in a cellar.
A Texan and an Alaskan walk into a room, and the Alaskan says, "My state is bigger." Then the Texan says, "It won't be when it melts."
Dark humor is like a home; not everyone gets it.
Your forehead [is] so big that if I drew an H on it, Kobe could have landed there.
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.
What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.
If you drop an apple and an emo girl, who falls first?
The apple, because the emo girl hung herself.
What is the difference between a coconut and your ex?
One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at, the other one is a coconut.
What makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar?
They can't stand up for themselves.
You look tall for being a yellow dwarf. You are 432,450 miles tall!
My friend said, "Why do you have depression? There is so much happiness in the world." And I said, "Why do you have asthma? There is so much air in the world."
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? -- One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?
It's legal to get stoned.