Comparison

Comparison Jokes

Orphan

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples are actually picked.

Rock Bottom

Look, I didn't hit rock bottom. I gracefully floated down there like Mary Poppins with an umbrella.

Baby

What is the difference between a baby and a baked potato?

140 calories.

Love

What is happening? Which is better: being loved or being hated? State your answer.

Public Speaking

Public speaking is a more popular fear than snakes, and you don't see anyone walking in Australia and shout, "Look out! A podium!"

Putin

What is the difference between Putin and Hitler? Putin no longer supplies gas and Hitler gives it away for free.

Emo

what's the difference between an emo and an apple? the apple falls to the ground while the emo just hangs there.

Stone

What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?

It's legal to get stoned.

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  • Baby

    What's the difference between a baby and garlic bread? I feel bad when I drop garlic bread.

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  • Banana

    Broccoli says, "I look like a tree."

    Walnut says, "I look like a brain."

    Cashew says, "I look like a kidney."

    Banana says, "Can we change the topic please?"

    Trampoline

    what's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? the trampoline doesn't cave in when i jump on it.

    Girl

    My friends and I were talking about this really ugly girl at our school. For some reason, she had the same name as me.

    School Shooter

    I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.

    Refrigerator

    What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? You have to ask permission before stuffing it with meat.