Comparison jokes
What does an apple have in common with an emo kid?
Answer: They both hang.
What's the difference between a fish and a car?
You can tune a car... but you can't TUNA fish! x3
What is the difference between cum and milk? Nothing. They are both white and tasty.
Girls: π *Period* βοΈπ
Men: πΏ *Growth* πΏπΏπΏ
What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?
"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."
Bro, you can't be talking. You built like Barney the dinosaur. Barney is a dinosaur with dinosaur sensation.
What number is better than 69?
88 'cause you get ate twice.
The Toaster: The best bath bomb!
People are like trees...
They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
Whatβs the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
If you're ever bored, pee on an android. Apple is better!
Yo mama so fat, she broke Usain Bolt's 100 meter speed record by taking ONE STEP!
What's the difference between a cat and a human? About 500 bullets.
Erin like TJ, but his tapeline said no.
What is the difference between a wheelchair and a walker?
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
What do girls and your hairline have in common? They are both receding.
Look, I didn't hit rock bottom. I gracefully floated down there like Mary Poppins with an umbrella.
Your hairline is so far back my grandpa saw it before you!
What's the difference between a pig and a police officer?
The pig smells better.