Comparison jokes
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.
I like my women like I like my diving pools.
Wet and deep.
I like my women like I like my diving pool:
Deep and wet.
What's the difference between onions and babies?
I cry when I cut onions.
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.
Highest level of insult by a girl by seeing a guy's dick:
"I can shit bigger logs than that thing of your's" 🤣
What's the difference between a dick and a cannon?
Your dick shots longer.
My diet:
Make all of my friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look...
What number is better; 46 or 47?
I don't know, ask the kid with Down syndrome.
What's the difference between a smart blonde and a dinosaur?
The dinosaur once existed.
What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.
What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies?
I don’t put fruit in a blender.
FEMA during a natural disaster is kinda like me during sex. Slow to respond and not a lot of satisfying results.
The egg that beat Kylie Jenner.
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
What's the difference between anal and oral sex?
An and Or!
How are guys and tile floors alike?
If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years.
You look like a burger.
What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye, but when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, suddenly people lose their shit?