Comparison jokes
Michael Jackson is like if a Barbie doll and Bruno Mars had an ugly child together!
I'm jk btw Michael Jackson was amazing!
Your mama so fat, Jupiter is smaller than her.
Average Kid: brings mp3 to school.
Rich Kid: Brings mp4 to school.
Quiet Kid: Brings an mp5.
What is the difference between a cow and me?
Nothing.
What's worse than having ants in your pants?
Uncles.
What's the difference between a blonde and a car door? The harder you slam the blonde, the looser it gets.
Yo mama is so fat, she couldn't even fit through the rabbit hole at first because she ate like a damn pig last night when we had dinner.
"This dude right here don't look nothing like no damn Tyrese Gibson. He look like a hot, fishy tail termite all dressed in green makeup."
Trump is so orange that he makes the Oompa Loompas look white.
What's the difference between a phone and a girl? You can turn it off whenever you want.
Once I saw Donald Trump and an orange and couldn’t tell the difference 😂
What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?
They are both going to be hanging from a tree.
What's the difference between a baby and a brick?
A brick doesn't cry when you throw it on a wall.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
What's the difference between humans and trash cans? One's actually useful.
What's the similarity between a broken pencil and my life?
They're both pointless.
What's the difference between my wife and a battery? I can't use a battery when it dies.
Your head so big you can wash a big TV on it!
Bro, your toenails are bigger than your IQ.
You remind me of a snowflake, beautiful and unique. One touch and you're wet.