Which company likes Jesus the most?
IHS Markit!
Two's company, cheese a crowd!
A hand of Pepsi murdered a Coca Cola. An innocent Sprite yelled, "Quick! Call Dr. Pepper!"
Eventually, a 7-Up called Dr. Pepper. The Coca Cola was fine.
Vape company: Hey, want some lung cancer and a nicotine addiction?
Teens: NO WAY!
Vape company: But it’s mango flavored!
Teens: O OK. 😤
For being a big company, NASA is openly saying they want pictures of Uranus.
In memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the Jackson Chocolate ice cream. It is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizzled on 4 year old tiny nuts.
A young orphan boy goes to school for the first time. A bigger boy comes and punches him. He says, "What are you gonna do, cry to your mommy?" The boy cries.
Next morning, he wakes up and comes to school. The same thing happens, but the older boy brings his friends. This time, after he says, "You gonna tell your mom?", the little boy says, "Yes, I will tell them that there is company coming over."
Credit to my boy tippecanoe3 for this joke.
What do you call it when Panera isn’t hungry?
Panera fed.
Credit to RogueRobot for this one:
What does Panera sleep in?
Panera bed.
What is the difference between a detective company and a man with eyes on his butt?
One has a private eye, and the other has eyed privates.
What company do orphans hate the most?
S. C. Johnson, a family company.
Your mom is as fat as NASA's company.
I was thinking of starting up a stair company, but there were too many steps to it.
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with Bill Gates? One stands, the other doesn't.
Did you guys know that Chancellor Palpatine is suing Nike?
Apparently, the company stole his slogan: Just "Do It."
The companies that made the hand gel sanitizer must be absolutely rubbing their hands together!
What do you call a terrible bus company?
Stagecoach Highlands.
Why are orphans unable to work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it’s a family business.
Yo mama so fat even Nationwide can't be on her side.
How many victims does Shaw have?
We don’t know yet. It’s four years and counting.
What do you call a white woman working at an all black company?
Crack/her
