A hand of Pepsi murdered a Coca Cola. An innocent Sprite yelled, "Quick! Call Dr. Pepper!"
Eventually, a 7-Up called Dr. Pepper. The Coca Cola was fine.
For being a big company, NASA is openly saying they want pictures of Uranus.
Vape company: Hey, want some lung cancer and a nicotine addiction?
Teens: NO WAY!
Vape company: But it’s mango flavored!
Teens: O OK. 😤
A young orphan boy goes to school for the first time. A bigger boy comes and punches him. He says, "What are you gonna do, cry to your mommy?" The boy cries.
Next morning, he wakes up and comes to school. The same thing happens, but the older boy brings his friends. This time, after he says, "You gonna tell your mom?", the little boy says, "Yes, I will tell them that there is company coming over."
My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."
My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."
He: I'm Nike, and you're McDonalds.
She: Why?
He: 'Cause I'm doing it, and you're loving it. :)
How many victims does Shaw have?
We don’t know yet. It’s four years and counting.
What company do orphans hate the most?
S. C. Johnson, a family company.
Did you guys know that Chancellor Palpatine is suing Nike?
Apparently, the company stole his slogan: Just "Do It."
What is the difference between a detective company and a man with eyes on his butt?
One has a private eye, and the other has eyed privates.
I was thinking of starting up a stair company, but there were too many steps to it.
ur mom as fat as nasas company
What do you call a terrible bus company?
Stagecoach Highlands.
Why are orphans unable to work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it’s a family business.
Credit to my boy tippecanoe3 for this joke.
What do you call it when Panera isn’t hungry?
Panera fed.
Credit to RogueRobot for this one:
What does Panera sleep in?
Panera bed.
The companies that made the hand gel sanitizer must be absolutely rubbing their hands together!
Yo mama so fat that State Farm tried to get on her side but couldn’t.
What do you call a white woman working at an all black company?
Crack/her
In memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the Jackson Chocolate ice cream. It is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizzled on 4 year old tiny nuts.
