Company jokes
What did the watch say to the failing watch company?
"You better watch it!"
Which company likes Jesus the most?
IHS Markit!
What does the A stand for in "orphan, adopt" from the orphan company?
All orphans deserve to die if they don't buy KFC.
Two's company, cheese a crowd!
why the fuck is steam there ????
Vape company: Hey, want some lung cancer and a nicotine addiction?
Teens: NO WAY!
Vape company: But it’s mango flavored!
Teens: O OK. 😤
For being a big company, NASA is openly saying they want pictures of Uranus.
A young orphan boy goes to school for the first time. A bigger boy comes and punches him. He says, "What are you gonna do, cry to your mommy?" The boy cries.
Next morning, he wakes up and comes to school. The same thing happens, but the older boy brings his friends. This time, after he says, "You gonna tell your mom?", the little boy says, "Yes, I will tell them that there is company coming over."
Why are orphans unable to work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it’s a family business.
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with Bill Gates? One stands, the other doesn't.
What do you call a terrible bus company?
Stagecoach Highlands.
The companies that made the hand gel sanitizer must be absolutely rubbing their hands together!
Credit to my boy tippecanoe3 for this joke.
What do you call it when Panera isn’t hungry?
Panera fed.
Credit to RogueRobot for this one:
What does Panera sleep in?
Panera bed.
What company do orphans hate the most?
S. C. Johnson, a family company.
Your mom is as fat as NASA's company.
What is the difference between a detective company and a man with eyes on his butt?
One has a private eye, and the other has eyed privates.
I was thinking of starting up a stair company, but there were too many steps to it.
Yo mama so fat even Nationwide can't be on her side.
How many victims does Shaw have?
We don’t know yet. It’s four years and counting.
My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."