Company jokes
What's another place orphans can't work at besides SC Johnson?
The Home Depot.
I was thinking of starting up a stair company, but there were too many steps to it.
Yo mama so stupid she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company.
I started a company making coffins. The slogan? 'We're dying to meet you.'
(BILL is sitting in the waiting room, fidgeting with his tie. MR. SMITH enters with a clipboard.)
MR. SMITH: (sternly) Good morning, Bill. Ready for your interview?
BILL: (nervously) Uh, yes, sir! I’ve prepared a lot for this!
MR. SMITH: (raising an eyebrow) Great! Let’s start with an easy question. Why do you want this job?
BILL: (confidently) Well, I want to help your company succeed! I believe in hard work and dedication!
MR. SMITH: (nods) Good to hear. Now, what’s your biggest weakness?
BILL: (eyes widening) I tend to be overly honest.
MR. SMITH: (leaning in) That’s not really a weakness.
BILL: (smirking) I don’t care what you think!
(MR. SMITH pauses, surprised, then bursts out laughing.)
MR. SMITH: (laughing) Okay, you’re hired! We need more honesty around here!
T-Series.
You know why you never wanna fly with an orphan?
'Cause then they know they won't die alone.
I used to work at a T-shirt factory before the company folded.
A hand of Pepsi murdered a Coca Cola. An innocent Sprite yelled, "Quick! Call Dr. Pepper!"
Eventually, a 7-Up called Dr. Pepper. The Coca Cola was fine.
Apple tried to make a car, but it had no windows ;)
My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."
What did Goodlife Fitness say to LA Fitness? "I guess it's just not 'working out'!"
What’s the name of OceanGate’s next submarine?
Judging by the breathing conditions on their subs, I bet they’ll call it the "George Floyd."
Two's company, cheese a crowd!
I am only here because me no like Blues Clues LGBTQ episode as I don’t believe in that. If you do, ok.
And it shouldn’t be a month, the month should be for all of the war veterans, it should be a day for pride. Companies only use this month for money; it’s exploitation because they don’t truly support, unlike me, in which I don’t support it.
Apple created the iPhone X for orphans because they don't have a home.
Vape company: Hey, want some lung cancer and a nicotine addiction?
Teens: NO WAY!
Vape company: But it’s mango flavored!
Teens: O OK. 😤
Is Google male or female? Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
When you have sex with a coworker but remember it's a family business.
What does Michael Jackson and Jeffery Dahmer have in common?
They both enjoy kids' company.