Company jokes
How many victims does Shaw have?
We don’t know yet. It’s four years and counting.
If Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money.
P.S. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to "When You Wish Upon A Star", with the castle being the Blue Peter ship instead.
Two people are sitting in a skyscraper.
P1: Hey, what wifi are you connected to? The company wifi is horrible.
P2: Airplane wifi.
Yo mama so fat that State Farm tried to get on her side but couldn’t.
You're so goddamn stupid, you thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
What's another place orphans can't work at besides SC Johnson?
The Home Depot.
Credit to my boy tippecanoe3 for this joke.
What do you call it when Panera isn’t hungry?
Panera fed.
Credit to RogueRobot for this one:
What does Panera sleep in?
Panera bed.
Where do you go when Steve Hawkins dies?
Microsoft.
My birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
I was thinking of starting up a stair company, but there were too many steps to it.
I opened a company selling landmines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
T-Series.
Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?
Because it was made by the same company that made their life decisions.
Why are orphans unable to work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it’s a family business.
I started a company making coffins. The slogan? 'We're dying to meet you.'
What is the difference between a detective company and a man with eyes on his butt?
One has a private eye, and the other has eyed privates.
What’s the name of OceanGate’s next submarine?
Judging by the breathing conditions on their subs, I bet they’ll call it the "George Floyd."
You know why you never wanna fly with an orphan?
'Cause then they know they won't die alone.
My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."
Two's company, cheese a crowd!