What does Michael Jackson and Jeffery Dahmer have in common?
They both enjoy kids' company.
Someone should start a vaping company with the slogan: "Vapes that hit harder than your dad." Sales would skyrocket.
The most corrupt CEOs are those of the pretzel companies.
They’re always so twisted!
Two people are sitting in a skyscraper.
P1: Hey, what wifi are you connected to? The company wifi is horrible.
P2: Airplane wifi.
What does an astronaut call his ex from space?
SpaceX.
What do an Apple company and an orphanage have that are different?
Apples actually get picked... Unlike little Timmy here... He's been here for 16 years.
Why does NASA only serve Coke?
Because they can't get Seven-Up!
Why do orphans like stealing things?
They wanted to have company.
Apple tried to make a car, but it had no windows ;)
Why’s BBC called BBC?
The dude’s shlong gets bigger every time he says n-
Apple created the iPhone X for orphans because they don't have a home.
I went for a job interview today, and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible!"
I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support Windows.
My birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
What’s the difference between Geico and a wife?
Geico saves you more.
Everybody is wondering what position Kenny will give his brother in their new company.
Probably top.
Kenny likes to be the bottom in every sexual encounter.
Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Quinn pregnant?
A: He forgot to wrap his whopper 🍆🍔.
What’s the name of OceanGate’s next submarine?
Judging by the breathing conditions on their subs, I bet they’ll call it the "George Floyd."
What did the watch say to the failing watch company?
"You better watch it!"
What does the A stand for in "orphan, adopt" from the orphan company?
