Common jokes
What do women and dog turds have in common?
The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
What does "off-limits" have in common with dead people? They can’t see their family.
Pussies and tits have one thing in common: they're both made for kids, but men end up licking or suckling them.
Q: What do a prostitute and a vacuum have in common?
A: If they stop sucking, you can smack them until they start again.
What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.
What do a brand new house, me, and new jewelry box have in common?
We're all empty on the inside.
What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common? A life expectancy of 15-25 days.
What does a shark and a computer have in common?
They both have megabytes.
What do cake and baseball have in common?
Both need batters.
What do Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Ilhan Omar, Ayanna Pressley, and Rashida Tlaib all have in common?
All four of them are garbage.
What does your mum have in common with your dad?
They are both men.
What do my balls and emos have in common?
...Nothing, they both hang themselves...
What do humans and monkeys have in common? They both hang from trees.
What do your BF and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both never get erect.
What does every arsehole and Tory have in common?
They all produce horrible shit.
What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?
When you pull either one out in class, everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend...
What does an orphan not have in common with criminals?
Criminals are wanted.
A lion, Johnny Depp, and a hockey player from Nashville all have one thing in common.
They're all Predators!
What do phones and orphans have in common?
They selfie! (It's because they don't have parents.)
What do the Twin Towers and your siblings have in common?
Once they turn 18, they never come back.