Common jokes

What do Michael Jackson and the Captain from the Spongebob theme song have in common? They both say "are you ready kids?"

What does a light bulb and a school shooter have in common?

They both light up the room.

What did Hitler and Usain Bolt have in common?

They both finished the races.

What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?

They both leave the little kids' room with empty sacks.

What do pedophiles and a SpongeBob intro have in common?

Are you ready kids?

What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?

“They both blow heads.”

What do Michael Jackson and math have in common? They are both hard for kids.

What do gay people and mice have in common?

They both hate pussy cats!

A lion, Johnny Depp, and a hockey player from Nashville all have one thing in common.

They're all Predators!

What do the movies The 6th Sense and Titanic have in common?

Icy dead people.

What do Paul Walker and I have in common? Neither of us have seen Fast and the Furious 7.

What do painters and prostitutes have in common?

They're both paid for a good finish.

A high school student and his best friend were rushing to class after his best friend caused them both to be late. His best friend asked, "Would you like to hear a joke?" "Sure," he replied. "What do you and your sister have in common?" "I don't know." "Because of me you're both late for your next period."

What does a perverted frog say? Rub it.

Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom.

What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped.

What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender.

What does an Al Qaeda terrorist and a flexible man have in common?

They can blow themselves up.

What do computers and white kids have in common? They don't have trouble shooting.

What do Hostess Twinkies and the cock of a gay man have in common?

🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍨 🍨 🍨 🍨

What does Madeleine McCann and my old Xbox have in common?

They both died with red rings.

What do a prostitute and peanut butter have in common?

They both spread for bread.

Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common?

A: They aren't much to look at, but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.