What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common They both get laid by Mexicans
What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
What activity do nuns and whores have in common?
Answer: Genuflection.
Q: What do men and math tests have in common?
A: They get cheated on.
The pastor of the local church calls on the congregation for volunteers for Bible sales.
A gentleman with a severe stutter approaches the pastor after Sunday service.
"I-i-i... I-i-id like to v-v-v-v-vol-vol-vo-volunteer to s-s-s-se-sell b-b-b-bi-b-bibles, f-fff-f-f-fa-fa-father..."
"That would be wonderful, my son. We'll start you with one box. Please go door to door throughout the community and sell what you can. You can give these away, but donations are always accepted since the word of God is the most important message."
"T-t-t-t-th-th-th-thank you f-ff-f-f-f-fa-fa-fath-father... i-i-i-i-i-i-I'll s-s-s-s-se-se-sell what I c-c-c-cc-can..."
The pastor sends the man on his way.
About an hour later to the pastor's surprise, the stuttering man returns with an empty box and $200 cash.
The pastor is completely shocked, but is ultimately filled with joy as the church could use the funds more than ever, not to mention the community is that much closer to God's message.
So without asking questions, he happily sends the stuttering man on his way with 2 more boxes of Bibles.
"T-t-t-t-t-t-th-th-th-th-tha-thank you f-ff-f-f-f-fa-fa-fath-father, i-i-i-i-i-i-I'll be back s-s-s-s-s-soo-soo-soo-soon."
Exactly 2 hours later the stuttering man returns, only this time carrying 2 empty boxes and $500 cash.
The pastor is at a loss for words. So much so, that he's questioning whether the stuttering man is coming across these funds legitimately.
He pulls the man aside and asks, "Son, while myself and the church thank you for your efforts in selling these bibles, we want to make sure not to take advantage of common people. Most of my volunteers take upwards of a month to sell a single box of Bibles, and you've sold 3 boxes in a few hours. May I ask what you're telling these people when you approach their home?"
"W-w-w-w-we-we-well f-ff-f-f-f-fa-fa-fath-father it-it-it-it-its qui-q-q-q-qui-quite s-s-s-s-s-s-si-sim-simple."
"I ju-ju-ju-ju-just ask the-the-th-th-th-the-them if th-th-th-th-the-the-they'd l-l-l-l-li-li-li-li-lik-like to b-b-b-b-b-b-b-bu-bu-buy a b-b-b-bi-bi-bi-bible or if they w-w-w-w-w-wa-wa-wa-wan-want me to re-re-re-rea-read it to them."
Bro, your hairline and an athletics track have one thing in common: they look like Humpty Dumpty.
What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?
They both get really high.
What do sex and food have in common?
Grandma makes both better.
What does my arm have in common with paper?
They both can be cut.
What does a race track and your hairline have in common? They both go up and down.
What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common?
They both only change their pads after every third period!
What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?
They both have special needs.
What do an emo girl and a blind girl have in common?
Black is their favorite color.
What do KFC and a brothel have in common?
They’re both full of greasy chicks.
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.
What does a nearsighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common?
Wet noses.
What do a 14-year-old pregnant girl and the child inside her have in common? Both are thinking, “Oh no! My mom’s gonna kill me!”
What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common? There used to be 2, but now they're a sensitive topic...
I asked my friend, "Shouldn't we have 6 senses?"
He replied, "What is the 6th sense?"
"Common sense," I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention. "Never mind," I said.