Common jokes
What do orgasms and impulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?
They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.
What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
What do strippers and butter have in common?
Both spread for bread.
What do nail polish and panties have in common?
Both come off with alcohol.
What do Black people and chains have in common? Both work better with chains on them?
I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.
He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.
What do Boy Scouts and IG models have in common?
They both be fucking sugar daddies.
What does the long distance call and a Black person have in common?
They both don’t work.
What do orphans and garbage have in common?
They’re both in the street, and no one wants to pick them up.
What do rocks and girls have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
What do an open champagne bottle and an orphan have in common? They both lost their pop.
What do SpongeBob and Asians have in common?
They're both yellow and can't drive.
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
What do gay men and drug dealers have in common?
They both get a lot of crack.
What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?
They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.
What do us emos all have in common?
Depression. Anxiety. The sole desire to just start saying you wanna kys right out of the blue a lot and saying "I CAN'T WAIT TO JUMP OF THAT BUILDING SOON!" and other people say, "Idgaf, do it, all of us would be happy."
What does broccoli and sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.
What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both got taken out by two jets.