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Comic Book Jokes

Forehead

Your forehead is so big, even Galactus says, "Wow, that's big!"

Memes

Panel

A multi-paneled image shows a man on a panel trying to call on an actor. He starts with "Chris!" and three actors respond: Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, and Chris Pratt. The man then tries to specify "the muscular one," and all three actors claim the title. Finally, the man says "the one playing Peter," at which point Tom Holland raises his hand. Visibly frustrated, the man says, "Oh dang it! Not you Tom!" A final panel shows Tom Hiddleston replying, "What did I do?"

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Batman

What's the difference between Batman and Robin?

Batman can go to the store without robbin'.

School

Stan Lee walked into a school one day.

Just kidding, he's fuckin dead :(

Memes

Valentine

Mine is better than all of yours

A cartoon image of Deadpool holding a bloody heart with the speech bubble, “MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU!” and below “HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY”

Attention

The image shows a newspaper with the masthead "Daily Planet" and the headline "Lex Luthor Buys Daily Planet", followed by the text "Demands he be given more attention". The photo in the middle of the newspaper is of Elon Musk.

Skin

Surgery

The image shows text that reads "Doctor: It was a long and hard surgery, but we reattached your torso. *credit card declines* Doctor:" above a picture of a yellow figure holding a red figure. The red figure is being held with their head down.

Doctor

The image shows three actors who played Spiderman: Tobey Maguire, Tom Holland, and Andrew Garfield, side by side. Above them, text reads, "Doctor: don't worry kid, it's just a mild cold. My hospital room next day:".

Deadpool

It’s a metaphor for capitalism

A person wearing a Deadpool mask sits at a table covered in stacks of hundred-dollar bills. The text on the image reads "Deadpool after selling 1500 of his own kidneys."

Deadpool

Wade, What did you do? You're grounded for life.

A stylized image of Deadpool in a police lineup. Above him is the word "WANTED." He is holding a sign that reads "DEADPOOL" and below that a number "8308 7353".

Batman

Batman

The cover of a Batman comic book titled "Nosferatu" with an image of the vampire Nosferatu in the foreground. There is also a skeletal figure behind him and an old building in the background. The text at the bottom reads "RANDY LOFFICIER JEAN-MARC LOFFICIER TED MCKEEVER".

Bullet

BULLETS OF VENGEANCE

A comic book style image shows Moon Knight, wearing a white mask and suit with a black vest and ammo belt, holding two rifles. There is a speech bubble above him that reads, "Taste the bullets of vengeance! Way cooler than whatever bullets Punisher uses." The background has splatters of red blood or paint.

Attack

Attack on Deadpool

The image shows a large being looming over a burning city with Deadpool in the foreground. Deadpool exclaims: "Oh my god!... I think I left the oven on at home!". The text above says: GOOGLED "ATTACK ON DEADPOOL" and below says: WAS NOT DISAPPOINTED.

Hell

You can’t plan for everything

A comic book panel shows a man in a suit and mask looking alarmed with a gun in his hand. He is exclaiming, "How. How the hell was I supposed to plan for this?! Damned zombie Moon Knights!!!" In the background, two figures in capes can be seen.

Manga

Eraserhead meme

A three-panel image showing the character Eraserhead in different art styles. The top panel says "manga" and shows the character in a manga panel. The middle panel says "anime" and shows a still of the character from an anime. The bottom panel says "netflix" and shows a pencil with toilet paper wrapped around it.

Bottom

Words I live by

The image shows the comic book character Deadpool in a red and black suit with two swords on his back. The background is a red and white pattern. Above and below Deadpool are two text fields. The first says, "IF I'VE EVER OFFENDED YOU, JUST KNOW, FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, I'M SORRY." The second says, "THAT YOU'RE OVERLY SENSITIVE."

God

Little bit.

The image shows a comic panel with two figures, one in a dark outfit with a skull emblem, and the other in a white hooded outfit. The dark figure is asking: "Hello, Marc, you still crazy?" The white figure is responding with: "Little bit. You still murdering people?" The dark figure responds: "Little bit. How's your imaginary god?" The white figure then replies: "He's good. How's your dead family?"

Eye

Badass Deathstroke

The image shows the comic book character Deathstroke aiming a rifle with a scope. The text on the image says, "You know you're badass when you use a scope without an eye."

Deadpool

Perfection

The image shows a stylized drawing of Deadpool with two pistols. In a speech bubble, he says, "Don't forget to wear your brown pants!". Above the image is the text "CALL OF DOODY" and "MERC OPS."

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