What's the difference between Autism and Gender?
Autism is on a spectrum.
What is the weirdest thing to wear and what is the weirdest thing to say?
Weirdest thing to ware: Socks with sandals, also with flip flops!
Weirdest thing to say: "Would you rather be a bath or a toilet?" "The blue angel sea slug looks like an alien." (weird).
Bonus: Things to ware with other things: Crop top with t-shirt (really hip), Crop top with tights or shorts, dresses with tights! (Cool) Oh well byeeeeeee!
My ex-wife was smoking pot with Snow White, when the 7 dwarfs saw them they sang...
"Look at those high Ho's! Hiiiiiiii Hoooooo'sssss!!!!"
Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”
“And yer hand?” asks Marty.
“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”
“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”
“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”
“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”
“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”
My mom said to let Jesus come inside me; now I can't sit down.
Q:why didn't the skeleton laugh at the joke? A: he broke his funny bone!
Your forehead is so big, Megamind though he was your long lost sibling. (me)
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve? Christopher Walken.
Those t.p. jokes are getting shittier by the second.
What You Call a magic owl? Hoo Dini
What do you call Steven Hawkins on pot
Pot wheels
My friend:What are you doing Me:I ́m making holy water My friend:How? Me:I ́m boiling the hell out of it.
What did the woman say when I told a rape joke?
I don't get it
what do 9/10 people enjoy? Gang rape
How is this joke and the kid with cancer alike? It never gets old.
Guy: Michael Jackson wasn’t in ancient times!
Me: hee hee egypt.
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
First human comes.
Sans: That was pun intended.
Why did the banana like the movie?
Because it was apeeling.
Beast joke ever: my life... Oh wait, I don't have one.
I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.
