Comedy jokes
What do you call the worst joke ever?
Well, according to my mom, I am.
I like women's rights "jokes" because they're all facts.
A man walks into a bar. He takes a seat and asks the barman if he wanted to hear a blonde joke. The barman replies, "Before you tell this joke, I want to tell you something. See the woman over there? She is a black belt in karate, she's blonde. See the bouncer over there? He is also a blonde. See the chick over there with that pool cue? She is also blonde. Also, I have a shotgun behind the bar. I'm blonde. So do you still want to tell your joke?" He replies, "F**k that. I ain't explaining the joke 4 times."
What happens when you cross a rhetorical question with a joke?
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand-up.
Kobe Bryant jokes just don't really fly well now.
Knock, knock? Who's there? French. French who? French fries!
Osama bin laden hit the towers because he couldnt fly straight
I saw a cat. It said, "Raisin" when he saw a nut. Hahaha, I am a crappy joker. Put me in the nerd club.
I'd tell a child abuse joke, but I forget the punchline.
My daughter came home from school later than usual. I was panicking, then at 5:30 p.m. she arrived, not walking but in a bus 🚌. I asked, "Where the hell did this bus come from?" She said, "The garage in the alleyway, Mama. I bought it for five gummies and eight buttons. You like her? She is called Belle Bus." My face was just: 😑 How did you get the bus here? She replies with a whisper, "I drove her through five gardens, a house, and two police cars!" 🙃 So that explains why you have handcuffs on. "Yeah!"
I wanted to make a joke about homework, but sadly, I'm an orphan.
Q: What has two wings and a halo?
A: An Asian phone call, "Wing, Wing, Halo?"
What do you call a funny cow?
A cowmedian.
What is a disabled person's favorite type of comedy? Sit-down comedy!
You couldn't spit out a good sentence, even if you ate a bowl of alphabet soup.
When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"
"Sure."
"What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"
"What?"
"They both get thrown out."
What's an edible part of a wheelchair?
A vegetable!
What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"
You know this joke really cracks up my bones!