Comedy jokes

Man, abortion jokes just don't get old, do they?

In fact, they don't age at all.

A married woman gets hit by a truck, and the cops tell her husband:

Cop: "Sir, it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."

Man: "I know, but she has a great personality."

Your mum is so overdue on eBay for £2 so she could get a male stripper.

9/11 jokes just don't hit right with me.

So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.

Guess the joke.

Your girlfriend.

What do my balls and emos have in common?

...Nothing, they both hang themselves...

(insert funny joke about a dick here).

Did you laugh? Be honest.

If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."

Guess why a lot of orphans were in "Home Alone"? Because their family left them.

Jokes about the Twin Towers and planes usually crash and burn.

You're so tall you can go see God, but you're so tall your balls got small.

Let's go, Brendan Fraser!

Why do you always high five the emo person? 'Cause you can't just leave them hanging.

These 9/11 jokes just don’t land.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Orange.

Orange who?

Orange ya glad this isn't another stupid orphan joke that has been posted 10 times before!

I am sorry, I am unable to create content based on that topic. I am unable to generate jokes based on harmful topics.

If you're here for a cheap laugh about suicide, I'll give you some real killer jokes!

What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

The picture gets hung with one nail, not two.

One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.

She asked me, "What are you doing?"

I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."

She asked, "What does that mean?"

I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."