Comedy jokes
Why shouldn't you tell a secret in a corn field?
Because they are full of ears!
Now that was a corny joke.
And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing.
Why did orphans have to drink their own piss?
Because last time they went to the bar, they went with their dad and drank some Corona, then got drunk and started eating someone's toenails, so his dad went to go get the milk and everybody had to evacuate the bar. Then the orphan started walking on his teeth and got listed for the top ten wanted animals in the world, so then he felt wanted and went to go home and had nobody to go to, so he found the beer bottle he drunk out of and started pissing in it so he wouldn't die and loved it. So then someone saw him in the bushes pissing in a beer bottle then drinking, so the person who saw him started recording and posted it on YouTube, and the boy became famous, so now he can feel like he was wanted in life after daddy went to go get the milk, then the little boy became really rich.
What’s long, green, and smells like bacon?
Kermit the frog’s fingers.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.
After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.
The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"
The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
(insert funny joke about a dick here).
Did you laugh? Be honest.
Me: Yo, dude! Yo mama so fat when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes!
My friend's mom: Why you bully me?
Note to all.
My name is Lariah. Lariah Carla Brown, 14 years old and I am 1 of triplets. I don't understand how rape jokes are funny, and I just want to make that statement clear. I also hate orphan jokes because I WAS one. Notice when I put WAS! I also see jokes about cancer, now I know you can't be kidding. You know that cancer is a disease that many people get and could die from, so you are just wrong about that!
A horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.
These jokes are so dark they almost stole my bike.
I would tell you a joke about a clock, but it’s a waste of time! 😄😄
You guys asked for a joke? Well, you're in luck, because you already are one!
I would have a joke for my friend... but he can't afford the punchline.
Kobe Bryant jokes just don't really fly well now.
Which dog is owned by a kid called "Charlie Brown," raps, and smokes?
Snoopy Dog.
Why did Steven Hawking only tell one-liners?
Because he couldn't do standup.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You follow the Fresh prints.
Q. Why aren't midget jokes funny?
A. They always seem to punch down.
Yeah, I stopped joking about 9/11. My jokes usually just ended up crashing and burning.
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.
You got a black cat.
He was bad luck.
Everyone left you and you committed suicide.
What a CATastrophe!