Comedy jokes
All these jokes make me laugh to death 💀.
You might think these jokes are plane.
What’s a sheep’s favorite song?
"Baby Don’t Herd Me."
Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?
Kid: AK!
Everyone else: 🚪 🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿♀️ 🎒 🏃🏻
I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.
Animal jokes, eh?
Toucan play at that game.
What do you call a person with no body and no nose? "Nobody knows."
Rape isn't funny unless she's laughing, too.
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
"Transgenders men in disguise".... A xxx Transformers parody coming soon to DVD.
What do you call a funny family of chairs? A sitcom!
Somebody stole my joke.
So I stole their spinal cord.
Do you have a shovel in your back pocket?
Why?
'Cause I’m digging that ass.
Dark jokes are like Antarctica.
They're cold.
Guys, stop telling orphan jokes, soon they're gonna tell they're par... oh wait, never mind, carry on.
I didn't get the joke at first, then it hit me like a plane.
The people at 9/11 must have been able to read fast. If I explain it, it won't be funny. This is an old joke my friend told me.
What's green and sings?
Elvis Parsley!
I was going to tell you a joke about a big cat, but I would be lion.
Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. Not everyone gets it.