Comedy jokes
These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian, and I know how to BAKE on breakfast.
2 jokes in a row babyyyyy!
So I was being robbed, and this guy had the gun to my head, so I told him he was holding it backwards.
I don't like 9/11 jokes, they tend to crash and burn.
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably go up in flames.
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Papyrus: You are so lazy, Sans!
Sans: Call me what you want. I got THICK SKIN!
Papyrus: Another bad joke and I'm finished with him!!
Frisk: HAHAHA
Papyrus: We are monsters. The awfulest kind!
Sans: To mess with us takes a lot of SPINE!!!
Sugar Honey Ice Tea.
I FORGOT MY JOKE!
They made a horror movie about the Chinese president.
It's called "Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey."
I told my friend ten puns to see what one made him laugh. No pun in ten did.
Why were the people in the Twin Towers such good readers?
They went through 110 stories in 10 seconds.
What do you call a very rude bird? A mockingbird.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
Why do orphans hate knock knock jokes?
Because there is never anyone at the door.
Go up to your friend and say: "It smells like updog."
They will likely reply: "What's updog?"
To which you reply: "Nothing much, what about you?"
Last night I slipped on a banana.
My friend said it was a-peeling!
When you steal the weird pet rock, so he pulls out his pet Glock.
Dark jokes are like Antarctica.
They're cold.
Why do people enjoy orphan jokes! Lol... I LOVE IT >:)
The wine taster at an old vineyard died. A homeless guy, looking ragged and dirty, came to apply. He persuaded the manager to give him a try.
The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped, and spit. “It's a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels,” he said. "Impressive," said the manager.
The man is given another. “Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in steel vats.”
The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said, “It's a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get this job, I'll tell who the father is!”
You know, I like my girls how I like my 9/11: Two twins that go down easy.