Comedy jokes

Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?

Kid: AK!

Everyone else: 🚪 🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿‍♀️ 🎒 🏃🏻

What do you call a person with no body and no nose? "Nobody knows."

Animal jokes, eh?

Toucan play at that game.

Rape isn't funny unless she's laughing, too.

Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!

Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!

Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!

Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!

What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!

What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”

How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!

What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!

What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!

"Transgenders men in disguise".... A xxx Transformers parody coming soon to DVD.

What do you call a funny family of chairs? A sitcom!

Do you have a shovel in your back pocket?

Why?

'Cause I’m digging that ass.

Somebody stole my joke.

So I stole their spinal cord.

I was going to tell you a joke about a big cat, but I would be lion.

Guys, stop telling orphan jokes, soon they're gonna tell they're par... oh wait, never mind, carry on.

I didn't get the joke at first, then it hit me like a plane.

The people at 9/11 must have been able to read fast. If I explain it, it won't be funny. This is an old joke my friend told me.

Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. Not everyone gets it.

What's green and sings?

Elvis Parsley!

I don't know why we have to make jokes about this, it's already a joke.

All the people disliking these jokes are definitely orphans.

What's an orphan's favorite movie?

"Spider-Man: Homecoming."

6 Germans walk into a bar... and only three walk out.

Wow, why so many of the same joke?