Comedy jokes

What’s a sheep’s favorite song?

"Baby Don’t Herd Me."

All these jokes make me laugh to death 💀.

You might think these jokes are plane.

Animal jokes, eh?

Toucan play at that game.

I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.

What do you call a person with no body and no nose? "Nobody knows."

Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?

Kid: AK!

Everyone else: 🚪 🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿‍♀️ 🎒 🏃🏻

Rape isn't funny unless she's laughing, too.

Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!

Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!

Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!

Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!

What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!

What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”

How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!

What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!

What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!

"Transgenders men in disguise".... A xxx Transformers parody coming soon to DVD.

What do you call a funny family of chairs? A sitcom!

Somebody stole my joke.

So I stole their spinal cord.

Dark jokes are like Antarctica.

They're cold.

Do you have a shovel in your back pocket?

Why?

'Cause I’m digging that ass.

Every time I tell a 911 joke, it bombs.

What's green and sings?

Elvis Parsley!

I was going to tell you a joke about a big cat, but I would be lion.

Guys, stop telling orphan jokes, soon they're gonna tell they're par... oh wait, never mind, carry on.

I didn't get the joke at first, then it hit me like a plane.

Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. Not everyone gets it.