Comedy jokes

What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite pasta?

Spaghett-hehe.

What’s the difference between a priest and target?

Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.

Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.

I hate writing dwarf jokes, but I normally keep them short.

what do sloths and depressed people have in common? ... they both hang from trees.

My friends hate when I make skeleton jokes. I guess I need to put more backbone into it.

I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.

I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.

These jokes are nearly as dead as Steven Hawkings.

Why do pizzas not tell jokes?

They're too cheesy.

So, I know that there are a lot of egg yolks on this website, and I guess I got beat to it, but I'm eggcited to say eggsactly what the eggs say.

I know I'm bad at this, but I hope you will crack up anyway.

There's 3 things I hate.

1. Jokes

2. Lists

3. Irony.

8008135 is my favorite number.

The worst ratio is 6:9.

And last but not least, "Why was six afraid of seven?" Seven eight nine. But why was six with nine? Because when you put them together, you get 69. But why was six mad at nine? Because Nine eight six, too.

Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.

“Dad, I got an F in Geography class!”

“Why is that?”

“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building.’”

Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”

What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?

A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.

Why do dwarfs do drugs?

To get high.

Why should you never make height jokes about dwarfs?

It goes right over their head.

I had a JFK joke, but it went right through my head.

There are a lot of upsides to being an orphan.

For one, you never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.

POV: I made a blind joke.

"That isn't funny. What if Helen Keller saw that?"