Comedy jokes

My friends hate when I make skeleton jokes. I guess I need to put more backbone into it.

what's worse than a baby in a trash can? A baby in two trash cans.

I hate writing dwarf jokes, but I normally keep them short.

Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.

What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite pasta?

Spaghett-hehe.

What’s the difference between a priest and target?

Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.

what do sloths and depressed people have in common? ... they both hang from trees.

I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.

Me and my grandpa went on a road trip, and he died. That was the last thing we did together, and I will never forget his last words: “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS!”

Knock knock. Who's there? Depression. Depression who? Depression you!

These jokes are nearly as dead as Steven Hawkings.

Why do pizzas not tell jokes?

They're too cheesy.

So, I know that there are a lot of egg yolks on this website, and I guess I got beat to it, but I'm eggcited to say eggsactly what the eggs say.

I know I'm bad at this, but I hope you will crack up anyway.

While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.

Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!

Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.

You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.

There's 3 things I hate.

1. Jokes

2. Lists

3. Irony.

8008135 is my favorite number.

The worst ratio is 6:9.

And last but not least, "Why was six afraid of seven?" Seven eight nine. But why was six with nine? Because when you put them together, you get 69. But why was six mad at nine? Because Nine eight six, too.

I have a joke about paper. It's tearable.

I love telling dad jokes. He always laughs.

POV: I made a blind joke.

"That isn't funny. What if Helen Keller saw that?"

These jokes are so dark that they picked the cotton!