Comedy

Comedy jokes

Body

What do you call a person with no body and no nose? "Nobody knows."

Life

I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.

Road Trip

Me and my grandpa went on a road trip, and he died. That was the last thing we did together, and I will never forget his last words: “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS!”

Friend

My friends hate when I make skeleton jokes. I guess I need to put more backbone into it.

Memes

Mum

Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.

Baby

what's worse than a baby in a trash can? A baby in two trash cans.

Egg

So, I know that there are a lot of egg yolks on this website, and I guess I got beat to it, but I'm eggcited to say eggsactly what the eggs say.

I know I'm bad at this, but I hope you will crack up anyway.

Store

While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.

Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!

Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.

You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.

Number

8008135 is my favorite number.

The worst ratio is 6:9.

And last but not least, "Why was six afraid of seven?" Seven eight nine. But why was six with nine? Because when you put them together, you get 69. But why was six mad at nine? Because Nine eight six, too.

School

Mom asks, "Why are you are THIS show??? It's DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!"

The child says, "Don't you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?"

Mom whispers, "Oh, you DEAD."

Day

Hey guys, how was your day?

If you ask me the same question, here's the answer: depressing.

I still haven't made any friends on this app. All I do is read and comment on old jokes or opinions.

Momma

Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her titties, I got a mouth full of knee.

Knock

Knock knock.

"Who's there?"

Boo.

"Boo who?"

It's just a joke, no need to cry!