Comedy jokes
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.
The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite pasta?
Spaghett-hehe.
I hate writing dwarf jokes, but I normally keep them short.
Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.
what do sloths and depressed people have in common? ... they both hang from trees.
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip, and he died. That was the last thing we did together, and I will never forget his last words: “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS!”
I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.
what's worse than a baby in a trash can? A baby in two trash cans.
My friends hate when I make skeleton jokes. I guess I need to put more backbone into it.
Knock knock. Who's there? Depression. Depression who? Depression you!
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.
So, I know that there are a lot of egg yolks on this website, and I guess I got beat to it, but I'm eggcited to say eggsactly what the eggs say.
I know I'm bad at this, but I hope you will crack up anyway.
Why do pizzas not tell jokes?
They're too cheesy.
8008135 is my favorite number.
The worst ratio is 6:9.
And last but not least, "Why was six afraid of seven?" Seven eight nine. But why was six with nine? Because when you put them together, you get 69. But why was six mad at nine? Because Nine eight six, too.
There's 3 things I hate.
1. Jokes
2. Lists
3. Irony.
Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her titties, I got a mouth full of knee.
Kid: Wanna hear a joke?
Me: Sure.
Kid: Why diddncjcjcbfjcbcjdbbskzmzj b b j no?
Me:?
Ok, so my brother made this, here it is:
Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? Chicken garbage!
Ok I know it makes no sense, but he made it when he was like 3.
What movie do orphans hate? Full House 🏠