Comedy jokes
Why do I go around making orphan jokes? Because they can't go crying to their parents. 😅
I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip, and he died. That was the last thing we did together, and I will never forget his last words: “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS!”
Knock knock. Who's there? Depression. Depression who? Depression you!
I hate writing dwarf jokes, but I normally keep them short.
what's worse than a baby in a trash can? A baby in two trash cans.
I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.
The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite pasta?
Spaghett-hehe.
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.
what do sloths and depressed people have in common? ... they both hang from trees.
My friends hate when I make skeleton jokes. I guess I need to put more backbone into it.
Why do pizzas not tell jokes?
They're too cheesy.
So, I know that there are a lot of egg yolks on this website, and I guess I got beat to it, but I'm eggcited to say eggsactly what the eggs say.
I know I'm bad at this, but I hope you will crack up anyway.
There's 3 things I hate.
1. Jokes
2. Lists
3. Irony.
White comedy week:
Monster Truck Monday
Trailer Park Tuesday
White Trash Wednesday
Take Your Sister Out Thursday
Fox News Friday
Storm the Capitol Saturday
Say You’re Sorry Sunday
I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."
Q: Why are school shooting jokes funny?
A: Because they're intended for a young audience.
I had a JFK joke, but it went right through my head.
Why do dwarfs do drugs?
To get high.