Comedy jokes
You wanna hear a joke about my penis?
Never mind, it’s too long.
What's the worst thing about having a Congolese friend?
He always needs a hand.
That joke didn't land well, did it?
What do you call a dwarf suicide bomber?
A party popper.
What's wrong with airline food...! They're not black, and they're not people. hahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahahXD!!!!!!!!! You're welcome?
Memes
English: It's the story of two potatoes, one gets mashed and the other screams “Oh mash!”
French: C’est l’histoire de deux pommes de terre. Une d’elles se fait écraser et l’autre s’écrie “Oh purée!”
In India, 3 things are wide and far everywhere, but no one admits: racism, sexism, and Sunny's jism.
You couldn't spit out a good sentence, even if you ate a bowl of alphabet soup.
What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?
Cash and carry.
What movie do atheists watch for Christmas?
"Coincidence on 34th Street."
Looks like someone's funny bone's broken!
A woman is slightly drunk, watching a video, when she yells at the screen, "Don't go into that church you dumb bitch!"
Her husband asks, "What are you watching?"
"Our wedding video."
Every time I tell a 911 joke, it bombs.
A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."
I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" Not Suzy.
Q: What does Abraham Lincoln have in common with a poor quality pirated movie?
A: They were both shot in a theater.
Have you heard about the movie "Constipation"?
No, because it never came out...
What did the blonde say when I told a rape joke?
"Can you show me what rape is?"
What did Homer Simpson say when he ran over a deer? "DOE!"
Why do I go around making orphan jokes? Because they can't go crying to their parents. 😅