Comedy jokes
Why is Ronan's forehead the size of Jupiter? Because he dropped the TV on his forehead. It also had rings.
Why is Jupiter's ring stuck in orbit? Because Ronan's forehead kept it stuck in orbit.
Snails are like sperm, slow and sloppy.
This is a joke to tell to someone with you or something. SOMEONE will laugh. Say: "This word isn't gonna be funny until I tell you, your probably not going to laugh." *your friend* "what's the word?" *you* "finger" *friend* *dies of laughter*. *note* it works better if you wiggle your finger or something before and not everyone laughs, so don't feel bad if they don't. Also, don't be surprised if you get put in jail for murder, because you're going to kill someone with this.
My wife said I have no sense of direction.
I said, "Where did that come from?"
Friend: "UR LIT BRO!!"
Me: "That's what my sleeve said to my arm."
The world is a freaking rape joke.
What do you call an orphan with parents?
Idk, I never met one before.
Bonus joke: I went up to an orphan and asked where his parents were. He said, "I don’t have any." I said, "Wonder why."
Another bonus joke: Me: Hey. Orphan: Hey. Me: What do you do for fun? Orphan: Look for my parents. Me: Me, so they're not dead? Orphan: No, they just abandoned me.
More bonus: What do you call a homeless kid?
An orphan.
Last bonus: Why don’t orphanages teach kids about home?
Because they can’t find one.
lmao this is so funny, dark humor can be funny. Sorry, orphans!
The only time rape jokes are okay; is when they aren't forced.
Alyas' dad died, that's comedy. Something not funny is like BLM.
What do you get from childhood drama? A ginger with autism.
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?
Christopher Walken.
Nah c'mon guys, we don't let jokes like this fly around here.
What do you call a joke without a punchline?
You know some of these jokes took me 9 minutes and 11 seconds to realize. When I did, it hit me like a plane.
To the people who have seen "Meet The Fockers" at the movies and they hated it, Fock You, Motherfockers!
"Man, your jokes about homicide are totally killer!"
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
Enough with the Nazi jokes.
They make me führeious!
There were three Indians that got kicked out of the tribe.
One said, "Me find food," and he came back with a decent size rabbit. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see rabbit, me shoot rabbit, and rabbit fall down dead."
The 2nd Indian, "Me find food." He came back with a good sized deer. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see deer, me shoot deer, deer fall down dead."
The third Indian said, "Me find food." He came back crawling, missing a leg and an arm, and he was all cut up. The others asked what happened. He said, "Me see train, me shoot train, train no stop!"
Give a man a match, he'll be warm for a while. But set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Rape isn't funny unless she's laughing, too.