Comedy jokes
My friend said he wanted to die, and I told him not to jump. But when he screamed, "Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and welcome to Jackass!" I knew it was over.
Why can't orphans watch "The Simpsons"?
Because they don't know who's Homer.
I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.
Hey, watch me eat this African sandwich.
*Takes huge bite of air.*
Orphan jokes are just hurtful, and that is all they are, so please stop.
Why did the vegetable cross the road? He didn't, he just sat there.
Why do pizzas not tell jokes?
They're too cheesy.
what's the difference between morbid humor & dark humor?
dark humor fits 10 people in 1 container.
morbid humor fits 1 person on ten containers.
What is the biggest joke ever? Trump.
Chuck Norris once said that he didn't like the plane he was riding in. Out of sadness, the plane committed suicide. How, you ask? Ask the Twin Towers.
Wanna hear a joke?
My life.
What does a kid with cancer and dark humor have in common? They never get old.
Ha! It asked me to submit a joke, but then I realized I'm the joke.
Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...
I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.
Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.
I would say a good joke, but all the good ones Argon.
The irony of metal jokes is pretty fun. But it leads to a lot of people stealing them.
Three men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live only if they could achieve one thing: They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each.
The first person returned with apples. The leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1... 2... he screamed.
The next person came back with grapes. 1, 2, 3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing; he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well. "Well, I saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples!"
Deez nuts!
GOT EEMMMMMMMM!
If a clown farted, would it smell funny?
I don't like 9/11 jokes, they tend to crash and burn.