Comedy jokes
This is a joke. Laugh now or else.
Wife: Stop telling rape jokes, it's not funny. Husband: Who raped you this morning?
What makes a skeleton laugh?
When you tickle his funny bone with a skele-TON of jokes!
Heh.
No more toilet paper jokes, please.
Knock, knock.
*takes out penis*
Who is there?
Butthole 😎
Three men are shipwrecked on a jungle island and taken prisoner by the residing cannibals. They are all told to walk into the jungle and come back with one piece of fruit. They go in and the first man comes out with a peach. He is instructed to shove it in his ass, and if he laughs, he will be killed. He tries and dies.
The second man comes back with a grape and is instructed to do the same. When the two meet at the pearly gates, the first man says, "I had a peach. They're fuzzy. You had a grape. What's your excuse?"
"Well, I was doing fine until I saw Jimmy come out of the brush with a pineapple."
The only time rape jokes are funny is never.
1st Person: Do you want to know something funny?
2nd Person: Yeah, sure!
1st Person: I don’t know, I’m German!
Deez nutz!
What does the ocean do to its friends?
It waves.
(*Sorry I wasn't making any jokes for a while, I was getting sick of this thing.*)
What's the only punch that can knock out a 21 year old?
A Sandy Hook.
Brian was shopping at a mall. He hopped onto an escalator. Next to him were two people having an argument. Eventually, one of them pulled out a pocket knife threatening to stab the other. Brian murmured "Well, that escalated quickly..."
What's the funniest joke ever?
Rapboat thinking he can rap.
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them:
"Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.
What do you call a midget stripper?
A pocket pussy.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"Ash."
"Ash who?"
"Bless you!"
Iron Man: Where are you from?
Thor: Asgard.
Iron Man: Do you mean ass guard?
Do you wanna hear a joke about vegetables? Never mind, it's too corny.
None of these jokes really took off.