Comedy jokes
The difference between my life and a joke is that a joke has meaning.
So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, "I hope that wasn't too much to Handel. Don't let it Strauss you out."
For all of my musicians out there!
Student: "May I use the restroom, professor?"
Professor: "Oui oui."
Student: "No, professor, doo doo!"
Rape jokes aren’t funny!!! And definitely not something to joke about, what’s wrong with ppl, like seriously what a world we live in. This is sick!
Why did Steven Hawking only tell one-liners?
Because he couldn't do standup.
I was gonna tell a joke about a dead fetus, but I decided to abort it.
I was gonna do a school shooter joke, but it was aimed at younger audiences.
Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. Not everyone gets it.
I don’t believe in reincarnation now, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster.
—Shane Richie, British actor
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.
This is the true worst joke ever:
What did the person say to the other guy when he met him?
Hi!
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a truck.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, I'm not a poo, you're a poo.
I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.
I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.
If there was a quiz on midgets, here’s the Midget quiz and the questions that would be on it:
1. When midgets get high on any drug, do they get high or medium?
2. Do midgets come out the closet or the cabinet?
3. Are Midgets related to Snow White’s 7 Dwarfs?
4. Is a midget just a human without the mushroom in Mario?
5. Was this funny?
Have you heard about the movie "Constipation"?
No, because it never came out...
What do you get when you cross jokes and cum?
CUMedy.
I have an account at the website Memedroid.
My name is J0K35FromWJE.
Feel free to follow me, and I WILL upload to Memedroid (I might not upload daily).
I will still make jokes here jlyk (just letting you know).
Ok here's your joke now...
What did one pizza say to the other when they were in bed?
"Can I have a pizza that ass?"
I am a fruitcake. Why? Because I’m fruity and nutty. That’s the joke. Tada!
Me. I am the worst joke ever.