Comedy jokes
I was a sit-down comedian, then I tried to stand up. I fell.
I wished I stayed in the wheelchair.
What did the tree say to the emo kid? Wanna hang?
When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"
Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"
The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"
BOINGZINGA!?!
Why did the Twin Towers go shopping?
To get some plane bread.
You know why eggs can't tell jokes?
They crack each other up!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Joe Mama!
My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.
Don’t make jokes about 9/11. My dad was the best Middle Eastern pilot.
Your mama is so ugly, when she went to the circus they thought she was Pennywise, Mom.
That joke didn't land well, did it?
Why do people keep on making jokes about the twin towers?
Because they go down so well.
Me: Wanna hear a joke about my chin?
Friend: Nah, dude. It'll be too long.
How are this joke and the kid with cancer alike?
It never gets old.
These jokes are the bomb, I rate them 9 out of 11.
Why can't an orphan live peacefully?
Technoblade: As a ghost, he could locate all orphans within 2 weeks.
I told a joke about miscarriage to a group of women, but none of them laughed.
I guess it was a bad delivery.
If Hitler was a comedian, he would use laughing gas.
I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:
The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Abby.
Abby who?
Abby C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z.