Come Jokes

A Japanese person comes to America and sees guns everywhere. One American says, "Welcome to America!"

I told some orphan that you can see your family, but I meant Spider-Man: Homecoming...

Three gay men enter a bar in Iran. They don't come out.

Open wide, here comes the airplane!

Roses are red, violets are blue, like my hole, Uncle Bill is making me full, better run here he comes!

A list of phrases that are bad to say after ejaculating. The list includes, "Whoopsie-doo, here comes the goo", "It's slime time", "Have some brogurt", "A shot of goo from me to you", "Gonna splurt the 'gurt".

I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.

OK, OK, what's up with the fake Gwens? I am going to use a test to see who is real or not.

The real Gwen will know this. When did I come onto this website? Next question, what is my real name, and do I go on cursing rampages? Only the real Gwen can complete this test with the right answers.

A: Why did the orphan not come to school today?

B: Because today we had a parent meetup.

What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?

Don't matter what you call him, he ain't coming.

Tongue Trick Sex: The Movie.

Not coming soon!

Mom: It's time for sleep.

Baby: Is that what you think, huh?

Mom: *gives baby pacifier*

Baby: Nice try, hobo.

Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.

*few hours later*

Baby: *still awake*

Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!

Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.

Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.

Mum: And that is?

*Kid walks out.*

*Kid comes back in with milk.*

Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!

People's music when friends are around: *rock*

When they are gone: "Come on, vamanos, everybody let's go!"

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Bill Cosby.

Bill Cosby who?

Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.

Why is Jeffrey Epstein so bad at races?

Because he comes in a little behind.

What's something you can say in church and while having sex?

I come in the name of the Lord.

Lily, Amy, Natalie, and Gabriella, it's my birthday tomorrow. Please come if you want to come. If you come to the party, there will be snacks and cake. Ty.