Come jokes
What goes up but doesn't come down?
Why did the mailman come to the house?
To come back with the milk.
Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.
Get the whip, you're out!
Michael Jackson is pure cheese.
I mean, Jacko comes on a little cracker.
"Come on now, gay jokes aren't funny."
Why do high tides come up so high?
Because they come up to say hi.
My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.
The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;
Helen Keller: *Gets knocked to the floor*
Helen Keller (in her head): "Wow, I didn't see that coming!"
I can't believe this!
Pizza is round and it comes in a square box, and you cut it into a triangle.
What is the difference between an orphan's dad and a boomerang?
Oh... one comes back.
"I’m coming for you two!"
They are making new versions of the Star Wars films. The names have only just come out.
There is Star Wars: Attack of the Trannies, Star Wars: The Trannie Awakens, Star Wars: Rogue Trannie, Star Wars: The LGBTQ Strikes Back, and then there is Star Wars: The Last Straight Man.
So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.
About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."
Why did the white girl come back from Africa?
Because there was no water for her to drink. I'm black.
Q: What did the porn actress say when she opened the door?
A: Make sure to come upstairs!
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
Why do orphans always come back?
Because I love cock.
What did the south tower say to the baby north tower?
"Here comes the airplane!"
What do you call an autistic kid coming to school with a gun?
Special Forces incoming!
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.
The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."