Come jokes

A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."

I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!

Why is Newton not allowed to visit local farms?

The owners know that forces come in pears.

Chuck Norris has come in contact with Covid.

Covid is now in a 14-day quarantine.

You know you're ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.

I just came across a pile of cash in the parking lot.

Usually I just use tissues.

A man went to buy 5 undies, so he said, "Hi, 5 undies, please, 1 for each weekday." Then another man comes and said, "Hi, 7 undies please, 1 for each day, and they'll finish cleaning by Sunday." So the cashier said, "Now that's more like it!" And then another person said, "Hi, 12 undies please, wait, I'm gonna double check... January... fe"

I stole a wheelchair. I knew the owner would come crawling back.

My wife cheated on me with my brother.

She didn't have a sister, so I improvised, and now all I have to do is wait nine months for one to come.

I prank called someone saying, "SON! IT'S ME, SON! I'M COMING FOR YOU!!!" My friend next to me asked who I was calling, and I said, "the orphanage."

How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.

I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.

You're so skinny, when you did your first jump on a pogo stick you would never come back.

If y'all look up freshfry jokes, I'll come up. About a year ago, I had a bunch of friends on this app.

What did one ass cheek say to the other?

"Blimey, what's that smell coming from the corridor?"

I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.

So, I was in the bathroom at school washing up, and this girl walked out of the stall and she was like, "Hey, can you make me laugh? I have been having a pretty bad day." And I was like, "Sure." I was like, "Come here." So she came over to me. I was like, "Girl, look at yourself in the mirror." And she started laughing so hard, and she said, "I'm so ugly."

It wasn't Islam that radicalized the terrorists who did 9/11.

Jenga comes to mind, though!

This is coming from an Indian btw and I find it very racist and it all stereotypes.

The plane said to the tower, "You're so cute, I want to come crashing into your arms!"

Roses are red, Violets are blue, All the worse jokes come from you.