Cock

Cock jokes

Incest

    • Q. How does a girl from Alabama know when her mom is on the rag?

    A. She can taste it on her brother's cock.

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    • Friend

    • I was staying over at my friend's; for the purpose of the joke, he shall be called Kian. It was 03:00 am and everyone else was asleep when I heard a soft banging on the wall. I left the room to inspect it. Kian lived with his grandad John Hauge; it was thought he had a huge slong.

    The banging was getting louder, and so too was my heartbeat. I opened John's door and ventured into the room. John was fully naked. There was a glory hole through the wall where I could make it Kian's ass. This is what I have been waiting for. I rip off my shorts, which Ali G bought for me, and silently moved towards John. I shoved [my] 1-inch wonder in his ear. John furiously turned around and slapped me with his cock, "You little gimp, get on the bed."

    Kian came in the room with a 2-litre bottle of Irn Bru. He demanded, "What the fudge are you doing?"

    I replied smoothly, "Kian, you tracksuit warrior, you have a camel toe!"

    Kian fires back, "Shut it, Paul, you have genital warts!"

    John screams, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

    He then gives us it so rough I can't walk the next day, but [I] feel pleasured for eternity.

    By Lewis

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    • Catholic priest

    • Why is sucking cock inside the confessional booth the only thing that a catholic priest doesn't have to give up for lent?

    Because catholic priests don't have to be vegetarians during lent.

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    • Cock memes

    Feminist

    • How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    Two; one to screw in the lightbulb and one to SUCK MY COCK!

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    • Male

    • Why would a Italian heterosexual male do for $100.00 if he was a prostitute that a polish american male would only do for a Klondike bar if he was a prostitute?

    suck a big cock.

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    • Woman

    • A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?"

    The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."

    An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room."

    "You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."

    A penguin takes his car to the shop, and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the cleanest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal."

    "No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream."

    If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off?

    A family's driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield. Embarrassed, and trying to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just an insect."

    "Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

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    • Minecraft

    • Asdf movie: meow meow I’m a cow.

    Me to my villagers in Minecraft: chick chick my guns cocked so frick.

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    • Sex

    • I've been told I've got a perfect cock.

    She sure was hard on me when I took it from her, though.

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    • Gay Men

    • What do physically handicapped gay men do after they are done belching? They wipe their mouths on their light blue handkerchiefs after they are done sucking cocks.

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    • Candy

    • Johnny and Jill went up the hill to lick Jill's yummy candy.

    But Johnny got a SHOCK With a mouthful of COCK Because Jill's REAL NAME?

    Was Randy. 👹

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