Clothing

Clothing jokes

Nudist

My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist.

I told him to stop being so clothes-minded.

Computer

Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."

Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."

Survey

Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.

And 100% of men don’t care.

Panty

Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?

In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.

Memes

Supermarket

I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realized I was in a rape museum.

Girlfriend

What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?

Fill her closet with see-through clothes.

Necklace

My friend and I were at the mall and decided to try on some necklaces. He said, "I think you should get the one over there." I do. I look at my friend and he’s wearing one with a little extra length so you can adjust it. I asked him, "Did you just break away from your owner to upgrade to clothes and shoes?"

Material

I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"

He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"

Room

Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.

He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"

She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."

Tree

What did the tree wear to the pool party 🥳?

Swimming trunks.

Chick

How do you know if a chick is too fat?

If you pull her pants down, her ass is still in them.

Fashion

I once had clothes that were so unbearably uncomfortable,

but I never realized they suited me.

Tie

What did the tie say to the hat?

You go on ahead, I'll just hang around.

Swimsuit

Papyrus: Nyhe heh heh! I got a swim suit! And it even says cool dude!

Sans: I guess now it says pool dude ;)

Papyrus: SSSSAAAAANNNNSSSS!

Insult

Kenya, if you keep smiling then you will become a positive bitchy!

Tenya, everyone hates you why I have no idea!

Kenya stop smiling and start dying!

Tenya, why are you so mean!

Kenya, stop acting like a mantrapp!

Tenya, stop being a bitch in a skirt!

Please leave a comment good or bad! cusswords whatever!

Fly

What's the difference between a pair of jeans and an African baby?

A pair of jeans only has 1 fly.

Mama

Yo mama so UGLY... at the strip club... people pay her... to keep her clothes ON!!!

Orphanage

Mom: Kid, bring your toys and clothing to the car. We're going to Disney Land.

Kid: Ok.

*Bring kid to the orphanage*.