Clothing jokes
How many animals can you fit in a pair of underpants?
A. A cock and a few hairs (hares).
You're so skinny, you use chapstick as deodorant.
What shoes does a pedophile wear?
White vans.
TRUE STORY!
X-Ray Tech: I broke my arm and went to the hospital. The X-Ray Tech was the hottest blonde I've ever seen.
I threw her ass down on the X-Ray table, ripped her clothes off, ripped off mine and I jumped on top of her!
Then I put the X-ray machine on top of us, turned it on and I looked up on the X-ray monitor and I watched and saw my sperm swimming up inside her!
What's the difference between my ripped jeans and my arms?.
None.
What’s the German word for BRA? Keep two from floppin'.
What goes black, white, black, white, down a hill?
A fat nun.
What do you call a person with a hole in their shoe?
A Christian.
What's the worst part about getting old?
Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
My arms are just a different texture pack compared to my body.
I tried to find a camouflage shirt, but I couldn’t find one.
Two men are hunting. One asks: "Did you ever hunt bear?" The other one answers: "No, but one time I went fishing in my shorts."
Why are the candy's clothes in the studio?
Because it's a wrapper.
Three men met on a nude beach. Two of the three men were happy, but the third was sad.
The three men broke into a conversation. The topic eventually reached the men's jobs, and why they were at the beach.
"I'm a construction worker," said the first man. "All year long I toil in the sun in very heavy clothes, so this seemed like the perfect vacation for me. If I can relax and do it naked, that's a win-win."
"I'm an accountant," said the second man. "I just like how everyone here is dressed exactly the same."
The first two men turned to the third, sad man. "What do you do?" they asked.
"I'm a pickpocket," said the third man. "My doctor sent me here."
You’ll need a bib when you’re done eating my ribs.
A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”
Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in them.
What does a rain cloud wear under her dress?
Thunderwear.
What did the hat say to the tie?
"I'll go on ahead, while you just hang around!"