Clothing jokes
You’re so fine that my zipper is falling for you.
What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?
Fill her closet with see-through clothes.
What's the most optimistic blood type? B+.
What disease causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency.
They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket.
They lied, everybody else was also wearing pants.
What do you call a stupid mannequin?
A dummy.
Why did the golfer change his pants?
Because he got a hole in one!
What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?
"Who are you wearing?"
I harvested indigo to make dye. I made the dye. I made a number dye. I dyed the dye. I rolled the dye. It made me die.
What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?
A slipper.
One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."
What type of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toed.
What do you call a dinosaur with a cowboy hat and cowboy boots?
A Tyrannosaurus Tex.
What did the cactus look like with his tuxedo on?
Sharp! 🤣
I think the local nudist campground just went out of business.
The sign on their gate says:
"Clothed Until Further Notice."
My friend and I were at the mall and decided to try on some necklaces. He said, "I think you should get the one over there." I do. I look at my friend and he’s wearing one with a little extra length so you can adjust it. I asked him, "Did you just break away from your owner to upgrade to clothes and shoes?"
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"
How do you know if a chick is too fat?
If you pull her pants down, her ass is still in them.
Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.
He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"
She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."
What did the tree wear to the pool party 🥳?
Swimming trunks.
I once had clothes that were so unbearably uncomfortable,
but I never realized they suited me.