Clothing Jokes

One day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. She picks it up.

"Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby?"

Sally says, "No, she's upstairs with Uncle John."

"Uncle John? I don't know an Uncle John."

"No, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy."

"No, I'm sure there's no one named Uncle John in our family."

"Okay, but why did you call?" Says Sally.

"Ummm, no reason, just tell mommy that daddy's pulling into the driveway right now."

"Okay daddy!"

*long pause*

"Okay daddy! I did it!"

"Great job Sally! What did she say?"

"Mommy said OH FU.. and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. She's now resting it looks like... then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter..."

Then dad replies "Swimming pool? We don't have a... is this 468-1843?"

Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?

In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.

Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.

And 100% of men don’t care.

I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realized I was in a rape museum.

Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."

Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."

What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?

Fill her closet with see-through clothes.

What do you call a dinosaur with a cowboy hat and cowboy boots?

A Tyrannosaurus Tex.

What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?

A slipper.

One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."

I harvested indigo to make dye. I made the dye. I made a number dye. I dyed the dye. I rolled the dye. It made me die.

You’re so fine that my zipper is falling for you.

What's the most optimistic blood type? B+.

What disease causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency.

They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket.

They lied, everybody else was also wearing pants.

What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?

"Who are you wearing?"

what do you call a stupid mannequin? a dummy

What did the cactus look like with his tuxedo on?

Sharp! 🤣

I think the local nudist campground just went out of business.

The sign on their gate says:

"Clothed Until Further Notice."

My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist.

I told him to stop being so clothes-minded.

What type of sandals do frogs wear?

Open-toed.

My friend and I were at the mall and decided to try on some necklaces. He said, "I think you should get the one over there." I do. I look at my friend and he’s wearing one with a little extra length so you can adjust it. I asked him, "Did you just break away from your owner to upgrade to clothes and shoes?"