Clothing jokes
Yo momma so fat, she glues together rags as clothes.
Why did the sperm cross the road? ———— because I put on the wrong sock today.
What do you get when you cross an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
Why don’t women wear mini skirts in the winter?
Because they’ll get chapped lips.
Hi, I like emos because they are black.
Why does OSHA require women to wear panties?
Because every manhole needs a cover.
Son: Dad, I need a new butt.
Dad: Why, son?
Son: Because mine has a huge crack in it.
If Trump colored his hair green and wore an orange shirt and pants, I will call him a carrot.
I just read in the news that tons of Americans are sending their old clothes to poor people in Africa.
Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
A waist of time!
A man with 20 dollars walked into Dave & Buster's. He went to the bathroom to wash his hands. He walked out without any clothes but still has his money.
Today in 3rd grade English, the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take your clothes off?"
Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "You can't ask that!"
The English teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired!"
Finally, Little Tim raises his hand, "The shower, ma'am."
The English teacher clapped her hands, "Good job, Tim, and as for you Elsa, you do not have the body for that."
Why does Batman only wear black?
Because he's emo!
What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?
They both have something hanging in their closet.
What's a rapper's favorite type of clothing?
RAP-TORS.
I have a vest. If I cut off my arms, it's a jacket!
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like one!
What do you call an octopus with a hat?
An octopus with a hat, of course.
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.