Clothing jokes
I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.
How are wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.
Fall coming 🍁 grab you a hoodie & sum1's thick thigh baby mama to keep you warm 😌🍂
What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?
You need more dressing.
What is an owl that wears armor?
Two men are hunting. One asks: "Did you ever hunt bear?" The other one answers: "No, but one time I went fishing in my shorts."
Why did Michael Jackson rush to H&M?
They had new Billie Jeans!
Why does a golfer wear two pairs of pants?
In case he gets a hole in one!
Dear clothing websites, if it's out of stock, DO NOT ADVERTISE IT!
Why did all the numbers laugh at 22? Because it had "tu tu's."
What's worse than having ants in your pants?
Uncles.
My wife is so fat. She buys her clothes at Tent & Awning!
A boy and his friend were walking down the street.
Boy 1: "Bro, you still got my Nikes?"
Boy 2: "Yeah, sorry. I got them dirty."
Boy 1: "Please clean them, we have school tomorrow."
Boy 2 got back to his house and decided to clean his friend's shoes. After he finished drying them, he got stuck in his painfully small dryer. Then he remembered his brother needed something from the dryer. So he tried to get out, when his brother came in.
He came in twice.
(like if u understand)
Here's a Song That Describes My Old Life-By-watersharky Productions-
My buddies think I'm on the lake.
Boss thinks I've been sick for days.
And mama's probably on her way
'Cause I ain't picked up the phone.
I've been a million places,
But they're all up in my head.
Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left.
I've been gone, I've been gone
I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.
All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong
Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane
Sadder than a country song.
Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way
Ever since you moved on, I've been gone.
Took a trip down memory lane.
Checked into hotel heartbreak.
Passed rock bottom on the way
Without leaving my living room.
I've been a million places
But they're all up in my head.
Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left.
I've been gone, I've been gone
I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.
All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong
Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane
Sadder than a country song.
Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way
Ever since you moved on, I've been gone.
Yeah
I've been gone.
All the clothes are on the floor
All the mail's by the door
All the whiskey bottles in my bed.
All the dishes in the sink
All the gas is in the tank
All the neighbors probably think I'm dead.
I've been gone, I've been gone
I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.
All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong
Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane
Sadder than a country song.
Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way
Ever since you moved on, I've been gone (ooh, ooh)
I've been gone (ooh, ooh)
Gone
You're so bald that when you wear a poncho, you look like a broken condom.
When you wear a big hat and your butt starts to splat diarrhea!
Why do mermaids wear seashells?
They are too big for “B” shells, and too small for “D” shells.
What do you call a Twinkie with two pairs of pants?
Double trousers.
What shoes does a pedophile wear?
White vans.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because I put the wrong socks on this morning.