Clothing jokes
Mom: Kid, bring your toys and clothing to the car. We're going to Disney Land.
Kid: Ok.
*Bring kid to the orphanage*.
Yo mama so UGLY... at the strip club... people pay her... to keep her clothes ON!!!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bikini.
Bikini who?
Oh, that was just a bikini.
What has two legs but can’t walk? Pants 👖
What kind of jeans do you wear to church?
Holy jeans!
Memes
Like if u sleep naked
What did Michael Jackson find on his bed?
Billie's Jeans.
What pants do you wear to church? Hole-y ones.
Dear clothing websites, if it's out of stock, DO NOT ADVERTISE IT!
Where do Sith get their clothes?
At the Darth Maul!
A girl goes to a Church to confess.
Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
(after a few minutes)
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "But father, he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"
What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown suit.
What does a South African Batman wear? A cape.
This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside.
He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see?”
If Trump colored his hair green and wore an orange shirt and pants, I will call him a carrot.
Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, “Mommy, mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs, and my ball got away and into your closet. When I went to get it, Daddy came in with the lady next door, and they started hugging and kissing. The lady next door took off Daddy’s clothes, and Daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed. The lady next door got on top of Daddy and started...”.
The mother cuts him off and says, “Just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me.” A couple hours later, the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face, shouting, “I’m leaving you... Go ahead, Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier.” Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. “Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs, and my ball got away and into your closet. When I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door, and you both started hugging and kissing. The lady next door took off your clothes, and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed. The lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing Mom did with Uncle Joe last summer.”
What do you call an octopus with a hat?
An octopus with a hat, of course.
What do you get when you cross a belt and a watch?
A waist of time.
I tried to find a camouflage shirt, but I couldn’t find one.
I saw someone who was about to jump off a bridge. They were wearing a Nike "JUST DO IT" shirt.
Women be like don't tell me what to wear, proceeds to tell men what to wear.