Clothing jokes
A nun walked into a bar with her clothes on inside out. The bartender asked her about it, and she replied, "It's a bad habit."
Lesbians and blind women wear the same clothes.
What kind of shorts do clouds wear?
Thunderwear.
What do lady dogs (bitches) wear to work?
Pant suits.
I gave my friends some buttons.
Too bad he couldn't pull himself together.
My grandma always loved to craft clothing. She dyed last week.
The Smithsonian has 3 notable articles of clothing on display: Mr. Rodger's sweater, Jerry Seinfeld's puffy shirt, and Stephen Hawking's drool rag.
Yo momma so fat, she glues together rags as clothes.
A guy goes to see his psychiatrist dressed only in bubble wrap. When he gets there, he asked the psych, "Can you please help me?"
The psych says, "No, I'm sorry, I can clearly see your nuts."
A man with 20 dollars walked into Dave & Buster's. He went to the bathroom to wash his hands. He walked out without any clothes but still has his money.
Chuck Norris and Superman had a bet. The loser had to wear their underwear on their pants.
Three guys are on a plane: one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American. The pilot says, "There is too much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off." So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said, "I have plenty of these where I come from." Then the Asian threw out some rice and said, "I have plenty of these in my country." The American threw out a bomb and said, "I have a lot of these in my country."
The plane crashes anyway, and the three men start to walk away from the crash. As they were walking, they found a boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of burritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy." The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of rice fell out of the sky and shredded all my clothes." The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble. They kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny. The boy said, "MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!"
What does a house wear?
A dress.
Chuck: Do you have holes in your underpants?
Teacher: No, of course not.
Chuck: Then how do you get your feet through?
What do you call it when a watch has too many belts?
A waist of your time.
What do you call a Twinkie with two pairs of pants?
Double trousers.
Why do ballerinas wear tutus?
The one-ones are too small and the three-threes are too big.
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.
What kind of jeans do you wear to church?
Holy jeans!
Yo mama's so fat, she irons her clothes on the driveway.