Close jokes
What does a baby in a blender look like? I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
A Chinese man moves to the USA after 50 years of living in Shanghai.
He bought a home on a small piece of land.
The friendly American neighbor decides to go across and welcome the new guy.
He goes next door, but on his way up the driveway he sees the Chinese man running around his front yard, chasing about 10 hens.
Not wanting to interrupt these "Chinese customs", he decides to put the welcome on hold for the day.
Next day he decides to try again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through the window and sees him urinate into a glass and then drink it.
Not wanting to interrupt another "Chinese custom", he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day.
A day later he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the neighbor leading a bull down the driveway and then put his left ear next to the bull's butt.
The American dude can't handle this, so he goes up to the Chinese man and says, "Jeez man, what the hell is it with your Chinese customs? I come over to welcome you to the neighborhood and see you running around the yard after hens. The next day you are pissing in a glass and drinking it, and then today you have your head so close to that bull's butt, it could just about shit on you."
The Chinese man is very taken back and says, "Sorry sir, you no understand, these no Chinese customs I am doing, these are American Customs."
"What do you mean," says the neighbor, "Those aren't American customs."
"Yes they are, man at travel agent tell me," replied the Chinese man. "He say to become true American, I must learn to chase chicks, get piss drunk, and listen to bull-shit!"
Why did the gym close down? -- It just didn't work out.
My dog
Looks about right
Damn and i thought i was dumb
lol
Hmmm
He was so close but so far
We are getting rather close guys.
On everything i did all this
LMAO
Community talk
Im just going to explain, or try to explain, how I feel, because I don't know what else to do before I fucking go insane.
I met Jake about like 3-4 years ago. I was 11 or 12. I came on for the worst jokes ever because of my boyfriend at the time. I quickly became attached to the site, having a place where I could speak to my IRL friends during school, and I met some really cool people. One of these people was Jake. … Read more
Why is it called 'shut UP' when the upper teeth have to move down to fully close the mouth?
I hate my life lolz okay so even though I made a giant ass deal about it, im not les.. im.. close it's something called Homoflexible, it's kind of a weird name. Basically, its like pan with a huge preference. Like, id date 90% girls and 10% guys, genderfluid, and non binary. Sorry for making a huge deal, about it, sexuality is really confusing.. thoughts of being with men still kind of make me sick, but my brains willing to make exceptions, like... idk hwo to explain. its a rare thought, because i did think about it. how did i love alain so much if i dotn like guys? and some other factors too. Anyways, im still gay as fuck.