Christmas Jokes

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

It’s Christmas morning and all the decorations are done but the tree looks like it’s missing something * grabs the noose *

One good thing about lynching during the holidays, free tree ornaments

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I love it when candy canes are in mint condition.

why dont asian kids believe in santa clause?

because theyre the ones who made the toys

What's got 5 arms, 3 legs and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon. 7_What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? GLOVES! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet...

What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))

How did Santa feel when he got stuck in the chimney?

Claus-trophobic

Why was Santa happy

Bc he had 3 ho's

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What is Santa Claus and Bill Cosby having in common? They both come while you’re asleep

What do gay people get for Christmas?

discrimination

A sex addict man meets a rich man around Christmas.

The sex addict asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes." The sex addict asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them."

The sex addict nods. Then the rich man asks him, "So what are you getting your wife this year?" The sex addict thinks about it for a second and replies, "A gold necklace and a dildo."

The rich man asks, "Why those two things?" The sex addict astutely reponds, "This way, if she doesn't like the jewelry she can go f... herself."