Christmas jokes
Why don't Chinese children believe in Santa?
Because they're the ones making the toys.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
What do gay people get for Christmas?
Discrimination.
What did Santa Claus bring Michael Jackson for Christmas? His elves! 😂😂😂
If I don't get a partner for Christmas this year, mistletoe won't be the only thing hanging from the ceiling.
Memes
Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa? Cause they make the toys.
Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.
Why are orphans so happy on Christmas? Because they might get a family.
What did the little girl with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, she's still trying to open it...
What's the difference between Chris Brown and Santa?
Santa stops at three hoes.
Your forehead is so big, you can fit Santa’s sack on it.
For a present on Christmas, I gave an orphan a phone, just without a home button.
Why didn't the boy like his Christmas presents? Hint: They were a soccer ball, bicycle, and running shoes.
What do you call a person who's afraid of Santa?
Klaustrophobic.
Why is Santa's sack always full?
Because he only comes once a year.
Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.
Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?
Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.
I got LEGOs for Christmas, and my friend got her father's headstone.
Your mama so ugly, when Santa Claus came to her house and saw her, he said, "HO HO HOLY SHIT THAT'S ONE UGLY BITCH!"
What do you call a winter time contact?
A Santa Claus.