Christmas jokes
Why does Santa come down the chimney? Because he knows he isn't allowed to come in the back door.
Why was Santa happy?
Because he had 3 hoes.
What do gay people get for Christmas?
Discrimination.
What did Santa Claus bring Michael Jackson for Christmas? His elves! 😂😂😂
If I don't get a partner for Christmas this year, mistletoe won't be the only thing hanging from the ceiling.
Why are orphans so happy on Christmas? Because they might get a family.
Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.
Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa? Cause they make the toys.
What did the little girl with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, she's still trying to open it...
Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.
Why is Santa's sack always full?
Because he only comes once a year.
What's the difference between Chris Brown and Santa?
Santa stops at three hoes.
For a present on Christmas, I gave an orphan a phone, just without a home button.
Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?
Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.
I got LEGOs for Christmas, and my friend got her father's headstone.
Why didn't the boy like his Christmas presents? Hint: They were a soccer ball, bicycle, and running shoes.
Your forehead is so big, you can fit Santa’s sack on it.
What do you call a person who's afraid of Santa?
Klaustrophobic.
Your mama so ugly, when Santa Claus came to her house and saw her, he said, "HO HO HOLY SHIT THAT'S ONE UGLY BITCH!"
What do you call a winter time contact?
A Santa Claus.