Christmas jokes
Why was Mrs. Claus upset?
Because Santa only comes once a year.
What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet...
What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))
What do gay people get for Christmas?
Discrimination.
What did Santa Claus bring Michael Jackson for Christmas? His elves! 😂😂😂
Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa? Cause they make the toys.
Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.
If I don't get a partner for Christmas this year, mistletoe won't be the only thing hanging from the ceiling.
Why are orphans so happy on Christmas? Because they might get a family.
What did the little girl with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, she's still trying to open it...
Your forehead is so big, you can fit Santa’s sack on it.
For a present on Christmas, I gave an orphan a phone, just without a home button.
Why didn't the boy like his Christmas presents? Hint: They were a soccer ball, bicycle, and running shoes.
What do you call a person who's afraid of Santa?
Klaustrophobic.
Why is Santa's sack always full?
Because he only comes once a year.
Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.
What's the difference between Chris Brown and Santa?
Santa stops at three hoes.
I got LEGOs for Christmas, and my friend got her father's headstone.
Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?
Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.
My daughter has been writing letters asking Satan for gifts. Imagine my shock when I realized she has dyslexia.
Why did Santa stop at three ho's?
Ms. Claus caught him.