Christmas jokes
Why was Santa happy?
Because he had 3 hoes.
How did Santa feel when he got stuck in the chimney?
Claus-trophobic.
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?
Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.
What do gay people get for Christmas?
Discrimination.
What did Santa Claus bring Michael Jackson for Christmas? His elves! 😂😂😂
If I don't get a partner for Christmas this year, mistletoe won't be the only thing hanging from the ceiling.
Why are orphans so happy on Christmas? Because they might get a family.
Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa? Cause they make the toys.
Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.
What did the little girl with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, she's still trying to open it...
Why is Santa's sack always full?
Because he only comes once a year.
Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.
Why did Santa stop at three ho's?
Ms. Claus caught him.
I got LEGOs for Christmas, and my friend got her father's headstone.
What do you call a person who's afraid of Santa?
Klaustrophobic.
Your forehead is so big, you can fit Santa’s sack on it.
Why didn't the boy like his Christmas presents? Hint: They were a soccer ball, bicycle, and running shoes.
For a present on Christmas, I gave an orphan a phone, just without a home button.
What's the difference between Chris Brown and Santa?
Santa stops at three hoes.