I don't get why it is called abortion instead of murder.
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."
Your haircut is worse than James Charles picking a gender.
What is the most favorite coffee brand of feminists? Taster's Choice!
Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"
Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."
Are multiple choice questions too easy?
A) Yes.
Whatβs a nun's weapon of choice?
Nun-chucks.
If you think about it, then adoption is the last choice for getting a child, so those who are adopted were the last choice.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses.
Does it cycle now? π²
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose π, but you can't pick your friends' noses π π π.
Friend: You're adopted.
Orphan: At least I was chosen!
Friend: At least I was kept.
One day my friend said: "I want tacos from Katie's, you?" and I said no thanks and she left. I never saw her again. Today I remember that I saw her name on TV as one of the victims of suicide, then I remember her and my motto: "If I'm dying, you're dying with me, you got no choice." I NEVER ate tacos from Katie's again.
Two guys are captured by native Chinese. They give them two choices: 1. Death. 2. δ»ε¦η
The first guy: What's δ»ε¦η?
The Chinese: Fucking.
The first guy chooses death.
Second guy to himself: Well, I'll let these sick fucks fuck me. At least I'll be alive...
The Chinese: Come on, we don't have all day.
Second guy: I choose δ»ε¦η.
The Chinese: Ok, δ»ε¦η to the death!
Bee Jokes:
"Hello."
"Oh, hello, Buzzy!"
"Why are ya calling me Buzzy this whole time?"
"Because you BEE BUZZing!" (Laughs)
"It's not funny! Jokes are the worst, although I hate those Bee Jokes!"
"Chillax bro. Don't BEE a hater of jokes, dude!" (Laughs)
"Aagh! You always had a choice, but I will sting ya face!"
"No! You BEE like pollen to make HONEY-moon." (Laughs)
"Stoooop!! I'm outta here, your worst fan."
"Fan?"
"Yes, your worst fan!"
"No! Fan!"
"What?! Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!!!"
"Ohhh! Buzzy's looking BEE-wind!" (Laughs)
Kid: But, Mom, I don't want to go to the movies.
Mom: SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND CLEAN MY ROOM! YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE!
What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.
My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.
She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!
Hey guys, thank you for finding this. Vote in the thumbs up or thumbs down whether you prefer Reeseβs cups or Starbursts, and comment if you have a different preference! I would like to know a little about people! Thanks, Izzy.
Why did the man cross the road?
Because he wanted to. :) :) :)
