Choice jokes
I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.
They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."
People always often say to someone who are thinking about suicide that's the easy way out. Don't give up! All I say is I'm not giving up, just I'm giving in, and does it really seem like it's the easiest way out? I don't think so, it's probably the hardest if you ask me, or I would have done it already, but someone's got to do it.
As I grow older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe tour guide wasn't the right career choice for me...
Roses are red, the Jews hate goys,
Union of Creepy Janitors (UCJ) opposes school choice.
I don't get why it is called abortion instead of murder.
Memes
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."
Your haircut is worse than James Charles picking a gender.
Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"
Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."
What is the most favorite coffee brand of feminists? Taster's Choice!
Are multiple choice questions too easy?
A) Yes.
Whatβs a nun's weapon of choice?
Nun-chucks.
If you think about it, then adoption is the last choice for getting a child, so those who are adopted were the last choice.
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses.
Does it cycle now? π²
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose π, but you can't pick your friends' noses π π π.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
Friend: You're adopted.
Orphan: At least I was chosen!
Friend: At least I was kept.
One day my friend said: "I want tacos from Katie's, you?" and I said no thanks and she left. I never saw her again. Today I remember that I saw her name on TV as one of the victims of suicide, then I remember her and my motto: "If I'm dying, you're dying with me, you got no choice." I NEVER ate tacos from Katie's again.
Two guys are captured by native Chinese. They give them two choices: 1. Death. 2. δ»ε¦η
The first guy: What's δ»ε¦η?
The Chinese: Fucking.
The first guy chooses death.
Second guy to himself: Well, I'll let these sick fucks fuck me. At least I'll be alive...
The Chinese: Come on, we don't have all day.
Second guy: I choose δ»ε¦η.
The Chinese: Ok, δ»ε¦η to the death!
Bee Jokes:
"Hello."
"Oh, hello, Buzzy!"
"Why are ya calling me Buzzy this whole time?"
"Because you BEE BUZZing!" (Laughs)
"It's not funny! Jokes are the worst, although I hate those Bee Jokes!"
"Chillax bro. Don't BEE a hater of jokes, dude!" (Laughs)
"Aagh! You always had a choice, but I will sting ya face!"
"No! You BEE like pollen to make HONEY-moon." (Laughs)
"Stoooop!! I'm outta here, your worst fan."
"Fan?"
"Yes, your worst fan!"
"No! Fan!"
"What?! Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!!!"
"Ohhh! Buzzy's looking BEE-wind!" (Laughs)
Kid: But, Mom, I don't want to go to the movies.
Mom: SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND CLEAN MY ROOM! YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE!