Choice jokes
Don't ever wanna fuck a dude!!
Used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask...
Yet here I am, stuck at home in this COVID-19 "Thriller," beating it...
I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.
They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."
What is your favorite name?
What do an abortion and a baby have in common?
The mom doesn't want either of them.
Why do orphans become hookers?
They can call someone daddy.
Why do orphans use Samsung?
Because iPhones have home buttons.
Why do orphans like apples? Because they get picked.
What planets do Astronauts like to pee on?
Uranus!
(Say this out loud and it will make more sense.)
Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.
What movie do all orphans find relatable?
Spiderman: No Way Home.
The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: to be shot, to be hung, or to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.
So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.
Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap, he was dead.
Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.
Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.
Finally, the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"
The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid... I'm wearing a condom!"
Yo mama got a daughter in a relationship, and I don't have time for you, ASAP, daughter, daughter, or your mother, or your call, or your choice of choice.
A hillbilly female has to decide if she would save her brother or her boyfriend. She chose both because her brother is her boyfriend.
Why is it so hard to choose between buying a Subaru or a Volvo? Because you’re deciding whether you want to look like a rapist or a pedophile.
You also have to learn to say no. For example: “Would you like a piece of cake?” - “No, I would like two.”
One day at school, Little Johnny and his friends were asked to do a sheet of paper which said, “Put a matching word from the word bank into the slot in the sentence that makes it make sense.” But when the teacher marked Little Johnny's papers, she asked why he put the word "bank" in every slot. And he says, “Well teacher, you said to put a word from the word bank and that's one word! So I had no choice but to put down that word!”
Manly men go to strip clubs. JD Vance goes to IKEA.
What does a skeleton tile his roof with?
Tiles.
WTF did you think he’d tile it with?
Why do orphans get to watch rated R movies? Because their parents can't stop them.