Choice jokes

I don't see why people these days choose their gender. There's only two, it's Nerf or nothing! (I'm just joking, I honestly don't care.)

I've thought about suicide, but there's always been a part of me that knows I wouldn't be able to live with the decision.

Why was the orphan so successful?

When the options were either go big or go home, he only had one option :(

I respect woman’s choices... either she wants to cook first, then clean, or she wants to clean first, then cook.

The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: to be shot, to be hung, or to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.

So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.

Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap, he was dead.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.

Finally, the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"

The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid... I'm wearing a condom!"

Abortions = yeetis of the fetus.

What do an abortion and a baby have in common?

The mom doesn't want either of them.

Abortion is a difficult topic for me.

One hand I support it because it kills children.

On the other hand, it gives women a choice.

What does it mean when a man sits on a boulder instead of on the ground?

A bolder choice.

People always tell me to say no to drugs, but if I'm talking to drugs, I probably said yes.

What do you call it when you choose Panera Bread over something else?

Panera instead.

You also have to learn to say no. For example: “Would you like a piece of cake?” - “No, I would like two.”

Women should have the right to choose whether they want to do cooking or cleaning first.

My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.

I met an orphan with a dog yesterday. I chose the dog.

Bill really said "your body, my choice," like, my man, it's your body, MY choice.

How do rapists justify murdering a young innocent human being?

Same way as pro-aborts, by saying "My body, my choice!"

Why do orphans like apples? Because they get picked.

You are the reason why child abortion still exists in the world.

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.

Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.