Choose

Choose Jokes

Suicide gives your security for the future. Decide the day of suicide and live with full joy till that day and you can choose to postpone it.

Why is it so hard to choose between buying a Subaru or a Volvo? Because you’re deciding whether you want to look like a rapist or a pedophile

i was watching my son play at the park and a lady asked me. "which one is yours" and for fun i said "i don't know i'm still choosing".

It’s true women do make less money than men But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.

I believe in a woman's right to choose... ... whether she wants to cook first and then clean or clean first and then cook.

ahem.. if somebody you dont like, or somebody random just calls you in general,

answer the phone with this

Hello thank you for choosing mamas pizzeria/ abortion clinic, your loss is our sauce how may i help you?

or

hello this is davids orphanage you make them we take them how may i help you?

some people reactions are priceless and then the wonder about you mental health

I don't see why people these days choose their gender, there's only two it's nerf or nothing. (im just joking i honestly dont care)

3 people explored the jungles, one was was France, one from Britain, and the other from America. While exploring, they were captured by the tribe living there. The tribesmen told the three "You three have invaded our territory, so we must kill you and use your bodies to create canoes. However we aren't that heartless so we'll let you choose your deaths." So the French guy asked for a gun, pointed to his head and said "Viva la France" and shot himself. The Britain guy requested for poison and said "For the queen" and drank the poison. Lastly the American asked for a spoon, the tribesmen were confused but still gave him the spoon. When the American got the spoon, he started stabbing himself "Try make a canoe out of this one!"

7

My wife of 60 years told me, "Let's go upstairs and make love." I just sighed and said, "Choose one, I can't do both."