its always fun to take anti-depressants, you either choose to take one, or the whole bottle.
Dad, am I adopted? NO! Why would I ever choose you?
When I was watching my daughter at the park earlier, another parent asked a man, "Which one is yours?" and he replied, "I ́m still choosing." She looked horrified.
What's different between an apple and a orphan? Apples get picked.
What’s the similarities between an American teen and a old Muslim man? They both choose who they want.
Suicide gives your security for the future. Decide the day of suicide and live with full joy till that day and you can choose to postpone it.
I either want to hang, stab, or shoot myself. I'm dying to choose.
Why is it so hard to choose between buying a Subaru or a Volvo? Because you’re deciding whether you want to look like a rapist or a pedophile
i was watching my son play at the park and a lady asked me. "which one is yours" and for fun i said "i don't know i'm still choosing".
Women should be allowed to choose: dishes or cooking first
why dose Michael Jackson have such a hard time playing chess? he cant choose between black or white.
It’s true women do make less money than men But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an exposition to the Amazon Forest. After a while they get lost. So as they are walking suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says "Hey, your in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren't that crazy so we will let you choose how you die." The man from France said, "bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "bring me the gun" And the man from New York said, "bring me a fork" The guy was confused with the fork but still brought it the items and gave it to them. The guy from France said, "for the France!" And drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, "long live the queen!" And shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said "MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS"
I believe in a woman's right to choose... ... whether she wants to cook first and then clean or clean first and then cook.
I don't see why people these days choose their gender, there's only two it's nerf or nothing. (im just joking i honestly dont care)
My wife of 60 years told me, "Let's go upstairs and make love." I just sighed and said, "Choose one, I can't do both."
What's the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu I choose you!!!
What's the difference between a black person and an apple? An apple chooses to hang.
Women should have the right to choose whether they want to do cooking or cleaning first.
A man needs to leave for lengthy a business trip, but his wife is saddened by this. She explains to him that if he isn’t home every night, there will be no way to satisfy herself if she feels horny. The man claims that she doesn’t need sex, because a dildo should work just fine. He quickly runs to the local gift shop and asks the cashier if the store carries anything really special. The cashier quietly pulls out an old box, and removes a wooden penis from inside. The cashier states that the dildo has been passed down in his family for generations, and was crafted by a witch deep within the Amazon jungle. The cashier sits up in his chair and shouts “Voodoo Dick, the door!” The wooden penis flies across the room, and begins to rapidly thrust itself in and out of the front door keyhole. “Voodoo Dick, the lamp!” The wooden penis flies up inside of the lamp on the cahsier’s desk, and once again, begins to thrust in and out. “Voodoo Dick, return to your box!” The wooden penis flies back into the box and the cashier closes the lid. The man chooses to buy the wooden penis, and just as he is about to leave, the cashier tells him a very important bit of information regarding the Voodoo Dick: “The cursed dildo can only be controlled through verbal commands, it is far too powerful to be moved by hand.” says the cashier. “You must never forget that!” The man nods and heads home. Later that day, the man explains to his wife how the sex toy works, and then leaves for his trip. A few days later, the wife becomes very horny, and opens up the box. She proceeds to shout “Voodoo Dick, my pussy!” The dildo zooms into her vagina, and pleasures her for roughly 6-8 hours. She soon begins to grow tired, and attempts to pull the dildo out of her. She pulls as hard as she can, but just can’t get it it. The wife panicks, and begins driving to the hospital with the wooden penis still inside of her vagina. A police officer pulls her over for speeding, and asks to see some identification. The wife exclaims “Help, help, there is a Voodoo Dick inside of my vagina and it won’t come out!” The officer raises an eyebrow in disbelief. “Voodoo Dick my ass, bitch.”
