Choice jokes

Bill Cosby on rape: "But, I heard, 'my body, my choice.'"

Q: What's a pedophile's favorite place to eat?

A: Schools because there is a wide variety of choices.

"Just say NO to drugs!" Well, if I'm talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.

It was dinner in the plane, and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.

"What are my choices?" the passenger said.

"Yes or no," the flight attendant replied.

Abortion is a really touchy subject for me. On one hand, there's dead babies! But on the other hand, women get a choice.

One day at school, Little Johnny and his friends were asked to do a sheet of paper which said, “Put a matching word from the word bank into the slot in the sentence that makes it make sense.” But when the teacher marked Little Johnny's papers, she asked why he put the word "bank" in every slot. And he says, “Well teacher, you said to put a word from the word bank and that's one word! So I had no choice but to put down that word!”

My opinion on abortion is very divided. Like, on the one hand, I like the idea of killing babies, but I'm not really into this thing about women being able to make choices.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked. Orphans don't.

I'm actually against abortion.

Just go to the car wash and tell 'em you ate too much red pasta!

Pick a number, syckkkkkkk, that’s the wrong number.

I regret my abortion.

I didn’t know child labor was an option.

I'm torn on the issue of abortion. I'm pro-abortion because it kills babies, but I'm against abortion because it gives women a choice.

I believe in a woman's right to choose...

...whether she wants to cook first and then clean or clean first and then cook.

What did the female rapist say at her hearing?

"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"

Dad, am I adopted?

NO! Why would I ever choose you?

A hillbilly female has to decide if she would save her brother or her boyfriend. She chose both because her brother is her boyfriend.

Why am I so successful?

When I was told to go big or go home, I only had one option.

Which one would be better to fuck, a fat bitch or a skinny bitch?

Just because you‘re suicidal, you don‘t have to be a quitter.

Wait, actually.

I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.