Choice jokes

What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.

My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.

She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.

I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!

Hey guys, thank you for finding this. Vote in the thumbs up or thumbs down whether you prefer Reese’s cups or Starbursts, and comment if you have a different preference! I would like to know a little about people! Thanks, Izzy.

Why did the man cross the road?

Because he wanted to. :) :) :)

Let's try to get to either max likes or dislikes, your choice.

And duck jokes, who would win in a fight, a baby or a pacifist, presented by duck?

How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."

Vote Biden or Trump, I like neither, but I want to know what the world would say. (Don't judge other people.)

What's the autistic kid's favorite song? Yours.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple gets picked.

Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins. He has all power, but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea? That’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different.

Our Lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven, the promised land, only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our Lord. This is your choice: believe and go to Heaven, or don’t believe and go to Hell, an eternal death. Make a choice.

Abortion isn't murder.

It's backspacing a typo.

Pretend you are an old man who is 77 years old and there are 7 doors, which door should you pick?

The seventh door.

You went the wrong way. Always choose the right path.

Here's a joke: Your life decisions.

What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?

One gets picked.

When someone asks you why you went bald, say it wasn't a choice. It just happened.

My mom picked my major.

My friend asked which is better to have, and you have to choose: autism or Down syndrome?

Guys, should I do it? You know what I mean.

Abortion is not murder, it's just canceling your preorder.