Choice jokes

It used to be "My Body, My Choice" until Trump came to power. Now it's "Your Body, My Choice."

Geowipp Grand Prize. And the CHOICE OF FOOD IS INSANE. We love him and we love him.

August is a guy from one of the shops, and we became a sundwich durk through Habin. We have GOT GO GO, IT WAS GRAT. That's why. But we don't do everything.

Would you rather have ten babies in one trash can or one baby in ten trash cans?

When someone asks you why you went bald, say it wasn't a choice. It just happened.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked. Orphans don't.

Abortion is a difficult topic for me.

On one hand I support it because it kills children.

On the other hand, it gives women a choice.

I regret my abortion.

I didn’t know child labor was an option.

The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: to be shot, to be hung, or to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.

So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.

Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap, he was dead.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.

Finally, the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"

The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid... I'm wearing a condom!"

Roses are red, the Jews hate goys,

Union of Creepy Janitors (UCJ) opposes school choice.

Let's try to get to either max likes or dislikes, your choice.

And duck jokes, who would win in a fight, a baby or a pacifist, presented by duck?

Guys, should I do it? You know what I mean.

"Just say NO to drugs!" Well, if I'm talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.

One day a local pastor was visiting the home of some parishioners who had a teenage son. The parents were worried about what career their son would choose, so the pastor said he had a simple test that could predict what would become of him.

He would put three objects on a table and let the young man choose whichever one he wanted to have: a Bible, a wallet, and a bottle of scotch. If the boy chose the Bible, he would probably become a priest; if he chose the wallet, he'd be a banker; and if he chose the bottle, he'd become a worthless bum.

So the parents called their son into the room, and the pastor told him he could have whichever object he wished. When the boy promptly picked up all three, the pastor cried out, "Heaven forbid! He's going to be a Jesuit!"

My friend asked which is better to have, and you have to choose: autism or Down syndrome?

My mom picked my major.

What do you call it when you choose Panera Bread over something else?

Panera instead.

You also have to learn to say no. For example: “Would you like a piece of cake?” - “No, I would like two.”

"What do you want to eat?"

"You choose."

"Children."

"What?"

*Picks up pot*

"You said anything!"

As I grow older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe tour guide wasn't the right career choice for me...

Why was the orphan so successful?

When the options were either go big or go home, he only had one option :(