Choice jokes

Free will is like having a vagina. You don't need to know how to use it, and you don't need to know what it does, but what matters is that you have it.

"What do you want to eat?"

"You choose."

"Children."

"What?"

*Picks up pot*

"You said anything!"

Want to hear an abortion joke, or any joke for that matter? You have that option, and you can thank your mother for that.

But that's a question that will never be heard by an aborted unborn baby, whose only option was death. And that's no joke.

A young 38 year old happy Muslim migrant living in Sydney wants to wed a beautiful young bride. He asks the local Aussie the minimum age to wed his yet unchosen bride. "Eighteen," the Aussie says, sipping a beer. "She has to be Eighteen."

Okay, the Muslim man sighed, with disappointment and walks off. Next day he arrives with a 13 year old girl.

"Wtf are you doing?" Aussie says?

"You say this is okay," Muslim replied. "Fuck no, she must be at least Eighteen you sick bastard," says Aussie, flicking away his Winnie Blue cigarette. Muslim man leaves angrily.

Next day Happy Muslim settles on a 14 year old girl from Punchbowl to be his bride. Aussies jaw drops, "What is wrong with you mate?" asks Aussie.

Muslim man replies "You tell me to choose 'a teen', 'a teen', I chose a teen and now you come for my third and now fourth choice. Fuck you!"

Aussie: "Eighteen not 'a teen' you sick mongrel."

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple always gets picked. 😂😂😂😂😂😂

One rainy day a NASCAR race was going on and they had no other choice but to use this bitch's forehead. https://sportsrecruits.com/athlete/morgan_tomporowski

Would you rather eat a brick or a matter baby?

Why are you gay? Because I said so!

Abortion is beautiful.

Don't ever wanna fuck a dude!!

5+2 = 7

But 4+3 also = 7

So take your own path.

I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.

I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.

What's the difference between an apple and an apple?

An apple gets picked.

What’s Emos favourite bacci?

Cutters choice.

Would you rather watch PL or suck a dick?

Adapt: lemme fart on that dick.

Hvis du tenker på det, så er adopsjon siste valget for et barn, så de som er adoptert var siste valget.

You can pick your friends and you can pick your 🤥 nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃.

Does it 🚲 🚲 🚲 cycle now?

Would you rather eat a girl out who has: herpes, COVID, and AIDS while she is on her period?

Or eat live worms, bats, and mice?

Bitch: Nice eyebrows.

Me: Yeah, where's yours, motherfucker?

Bitch: (Realizing she shaved them off cause she thought it would look cool)

When that one night stand says she has AIDS but you laugh, "I choose D!"

She says...wait what?? I have all of the above! XD