Choice jokes
What kind of shorts do clouds wear?
Thunderwear.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.
Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Spider-Man: Homecoming.
A hillbilly female has to decide if she would save her brother or her boyfriend. She chose both because her brother is her boyfriend.
What is your favorite color?
What is a cannibal's favorite restaurant?
Five Guys.
What’s a 9/11 victim’s least favorite song?
Drowning Pool - Bodies.
One day at school, Little Johnny and his friends were asked to do a sheet of paper which said, “Put a matching word from the word bank into the slot in the sentence that makes it make sense.” But when the teacher marked Little Johnny's papers, she asked why he put the word "bank" in every slot. And he says, “Well teacher, you said to put a word from the word bank and that's one word! So I had no choice but to put down that word!”
The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.
I either want to hang, stab, or shoot myself. I'm dying to choose.
Why did the orphan want to become a prostitute?
To get a daddy.
Friend 1: Eyyy gurl
Me: Hey! (Fake smile)
Friend 2: Hey g-guys what 'bout we play would you rather?
6 hours later
Friend 2: So (name) would u rather? 1. "Hang" out with me Or 2. "Jump" 1 times?
Me...e-eh?...Why not both????? We could just "Jump" while "Hanging" out right?
What's worse than depression & suicide?
Easy: LIVING. Everyday you wish you were dead but then reality hits you in the face that you're still alive and have to suffer living.
Pretend or not pretend, we have to decide everyday even if we don't pretend no one will notice :) no one ever does :). Living is the problem to everything. We get depression cuz of it and so much. Why can't we just die :)?
Where do rabbits eat breakfast?
IHOP.
Murder is the same as suicide, except the other person is doing it for you.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite place to eat?
A: Schools because there is a wide variety of choices.
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A trom-bone 😂
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Well, at least one gets picked.
